[melodic whistling]
[Willy singing] ♪ After seven years Of life upon the ocean ♪
♪ It is time to bid The seven seas farewell ♪
♪ And the city I’ve pinned Seven years of hopes on ♪
♪ Lies just over the horizon ♪
♪ I can hear the harbor bell ♪ - [bell dinging]
Land ahoy!
[ship horn blowing]
[upbeat music playing]
♪ Got a tattered overcoat And battered suitcase ♪
Au revoir, Chef.
♪ Got a pair of leaky boots Upon my ♪
- ♪ Feet ♪ - Sorry, Cook!
♪ Gotta drag myself up ♪
♪ By my one good bootlace ♪
♪ Gotta work My rotten socks off ♪
♪ If I want to make ends meet ♪
♪ I’ve poured everything I’ve got into my chocolate ♪
♪ Now it’s time To show the world my recipes ♪
Good luck, Willy!
♪ I’ve got 12 silver sovereigns ♪
♪ In my pocket ♪
Goodbye, Cook!
♪ And a hatful of dreams ♪
[upbeat music continues]
♪ There’s a famous restaurant On every street here ♪
♪ There’s Brandino’s And the bar Parisienne ♪
Restaurant map, sir? - Thank you.
♪ Got a little map to tell me Where to eat here ♪
♪ Had a dozen Silver sovereigns ♪
♪ Now I’m somehow down to ten ♪
♪ Want the finest produce?♪
- ♪ This is where They stock it ♪ - [tram bell dinging]
That’s three sovereigns, mate.
♪ Though the prices Are suspiciously extreme ♪
Break my pumpkin, you pay for it.
♪ I’ve got...♪
Five, six, seven... - [brushing]
[Willy sighs, tuts]
♪ Six silver sovereigns In my pocket ♪
♪ And a hatful of dreams ♪
[boy] Brush your coat, sir? [Willy] No, thank you.
[boy] Cologne? [Willy] No. Leave me alone.
♪ At last ♪
♪ The Galeries Gourmet ♪
♪ I knew that We’d see it one day ♪
It’s everything you said, Mamma.
♪ And oh, so much more ♪
♪ Each way that you turn, Another famous Chocolate store ♪
♪ Here’s my destiny ♪
♪ I just need to unlock it ♪
♪ Will I crash and burn ♪
♪ Or go up like a rocket?♪
♪ I got nothing to offer ♪
♪ But my chocolate ♪ - [bell dings]
♪ And a hatful ♪
♪ Of dreams ♪
Yeah!
[upbeat music continues]
[music tempo softens]
[officer] No daydreaming.
♪ In this city, Anyone can be successful ♪
♪ If they’ve talent And work hard, or so they say ♪
♪ But they didn’t mention It would be so stressful ♪
♪ Just to make A dozen silver sovereigns ♪
♪ Last more than a day ♪
[baby crying]
Could you spare a sovereign for a place to sleep, love?
Of course.
Here. Take all you need.
Thank you.
♪ I’ve got one silver sovereign In my pocket ♪
[sighs]
♪ And a hatful of dreams ♪
[melodic whistling] - [music fading out]
[whistling fades out]
[blowing]
Hmm.
There we go.
Time for a little nightcap.
Mm.
[dog growling]
Okay.
Hello there. No, stop. Hey, shoo.
Go away, stop!
Go away, shoo! Shoo!
- [man] Stop! - [dog stops growling]
- Sit. - [dog whines]
Sorry about Tiddles.
Seems to have an unusual interest
in your legs. [chuckles]
Must be these pants.
I got them from a mailman in Minsk.
[chuckles] That would be it.
Tiddles would spend all day
pursuing postal workers if he could.
Wouldn’t you, boy? - [dog barks]
[man chuckles]
You’re not planning on sleeping there, are you, son?
Oh, it’s just for a night.
By this time tomorrow, I plan to have made my fortune.
By this time tomorrow, you’ll be frozen solid.
Oh, don’t be ridiculous.
Ooh.
Perhaps it is a little cold for camping.
But unfortunately, I’m not in a position to pay for a room, sir.
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. - Mmm.
But as luck would have it,
I know someone who might be able to help you out.
Really?
- [Tiddles barks] - Here we are, Mr. Wonka.
Home sweet home.
[Tiddles barking]
[woman] Get your filthy paws off my front door,
you mangy mutt. - [man chuckles]
- [Tiddles whining] - [woman] If that’s you, Bleacher,
you’d better have my gin.
Oh, I have something better than gin, Mrs. Scrubitt.
A guest.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Hmm.
Oh! Well, why didn’t you say? [snorts]
- [door unlocks] - Come on in, sir.
Welcome to Scrubitt and Bleacher’s Guest House and Laundry.
Make yourself at home, warm your cockles by the fire.
- Gin? - [man] Oh.
Noodle!
[Noodle] Yes, Mrs. Scrubitt?
Put that book down and get our guest a glass o’ gin.
Poor man’s frozen half to death.
Thank you, Mrs. Scrubitt.
You and your husband have been so kind to me.
Husband?
Him? [laughs]
[chuckles] Husband.
Oh, you’d love that, wouldn’t ya?
- No. - Oh, I’m holding out for someone
far superior to that idle peasant.
[Bleacher groans softly] - Chin-chin.
[coughs] That is extremely strong stuff.
Yeah, you can run cars on that.
So, what is it I can do for you? Room, is it?
Well, yes, but, uh...
Mr. Wonka is temporarily embarrassed.
[gasps] Oh, no. You don’t say.
[Willy] I’m afraid that’s true, Mrs. Scrubitt.
But...
all that’s about to change. - Oh, yeah?
You see, I’m something of a magician,
inventor and chocolate maker.
And first thing tomorrow at the Galeries Gourmet,
I plan to unveil my most astonishing creation yet.
- Oh? - Prepare to be amazed
as I present to you...
A teapot?
No, that’s just for making tea.
- [sighs] - One second.
That’s for my stew. - [laughs]
It’s in here somewhere. [chuckles]
Don’t you worry, Mr. Wonka. I can see you’re a man of great ingenuity.
And we’ve got just the thing for ya.
The entrepreneurial package.
Now, the room is one sovereign a night,
but you don’t have to pay till 6:00 tomorrow.
Does that give you enough time to earn a few pennies?
More than enough, Mrs. Scrubitt.
Thank you.
Oh, it’s the least I can do for a stranger in need.
Now, sign here and we’re all done.
[chuckles politely] - All righty.
[whispers] Read the small print.
What?
Thank you, Noodle. That’ll do. - [gasps]
Ooh. What’d she say?
Who’s that, then? - The girl.
What girl? - That girl. It sounded like,
"Read the small print." And there does seem to be a lot of...
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh.
Oh. Just keeps on coming.
Yeah, you don’t wanna listen to Noodle, Mr. Wonka.
She’s damaged. - Damaged?
Orphan Syndrome.
Orphan Syndrome?
Orphan Syndrome.
She was dropped down the laundry chute as a bab, and I took her in
out the goodness of my heart,
and I’ve done my best, Mr. Wonka, honest, I have,
but she’s been left with a suspicious nature.
She sees conspiracy everywhere.
Poor girl. - I know.
These are just your standard Ts and Cs,
but you’re welcome to take a look if you want. [chuckles]
I’ll just give it a once-over.
[chuckles dryly]
[Willy reading softly]
Well, that all seems to be in order.
- Really? - Uh-huh.
Hello. [chuckles] - Ah! [chuckles]
Then welcome to Scrubitt’s.
[dings]
There you are, Mr. Wonka. The entrepreneurial suite.
There’s your four-poster, and your sink plus soap,
and there’s a little mint on your pillow.
[Willy] Fantastic.
What kind people.
[growls quietly]
[sing-songing] Noodle!
Oh, Noodle!
[Noodle] Yes, Mrs. Scrubitt?
[Mrs. Scrubitt, in normal tone] I’ve been lookin’ for you.
[Noodle] What do you want?
I wanna teach you a lesson, you miserable little bookworm.
What did I do wrong?
You know what you did, you brat.
- Stop squirming! - What? No, please.
[Noodle shrieks]
[Mrs. Scrubitt] You ever interfere in my business again,
and you’ll be in this coop all week. Do you understand?
Yes, Mrs. Scrubitt. Sorry, Mrs. Scrubitt.
I should think so, too. - [door slams shut]
[wind whistling]
[dog barks in distance]
[Willy] Here we go, Mamma.
[loudly] Ladies and gentlemen of the Galeries Gourmet,
my name is Willy Wonka,
and I have come to show you a marvelous morsel,
an incredible edible,
[dramatically] an unbeatable eatable,
the likes of which this world has never seen.
So quiet up and listen down.
No, scratch that, reverse it.
I give to you
the Hoverchoc.
[crowd gasping] - [plays flute]
♪ In a ♪
♪ Jungle near Mumbai ♪ - [crowd gasps]
- [fancy music playing] - ♪ There’s a little hoverfly ♪
♪ Whose wings go At a thousand flaps a sec ♪
♪ And that’s no lie ♪
♪ These microscopic fleas ♪
♪ Like chocolate More than leaves ♪
♪ And when asked nicely, Lay precisely ♪
♪ One little egg In each of these ♪
[crowd gasps]
♪ When it hatches From its shell ♪
♪ It gives a happy yell Whoo-hoo!♪
♪ How thrilling to be living In a chocolate hotel ♪
♪ It beats its wings with glee And then, as you will see ♪
♪ The chocolate will levitate ♪
♪ And float most gracefully ♪ - [crowd gasping, laughing]
- [gasps] - ♪ Well, there’s chocolate ♪
♪ And there’s chocolate ♪
♪ But only Wonka’s Makes your eyes ♪
♪ Pop out their socke-lets ♪
♪ Put your hand Into your pocke-let ♪
♪ Get yourself Some Wonka chocolate ♪
♪ Come now I insist ♪
♪ You’ve never Had chocolate like this ♪
♪ No, you’ve never Had chocolate like this ♪
[music ends] - [applause]
[man] Bravo!
[crowd laughs in delight] - [man 2] Bravo!
[Willy] Thank you.
- Miss Bon-Bon? - Yes, Mr. Slugworth.
Call the police.
[Miss Bon-Bon] Very good, sir.
[chuckles] Well, who wants to try one?
- [man] Me, please! - [Slugworth] I will.
[crowd gasps, murmurs]
Mr. Slugworth, sir. - [man 2] ’Scuse me.
[Willy] Mr. Fickelgruber.
- [babbles] - And Mr. Prodnose.
What an honor.
Ever since I was a little boy...
- [bones crunching] - That is quite a handshake.
It’s a business handshake, Mr. Wonka.
Lets people know I mean business.
- Huh... - Now, come along.
Let’s try one of these so-called Hoverchocs.
[Slugworth inhales]
[exhales]
Ooh.
It’s not just chocolate, is it?
There’s...
- marshmallow. - [Willy] That’s right.
Harvested from the mallow marshes of Peru.
[Fickelgruber] And caramel.
But... but it’s... - [Willy] Salted.
With the bittersweet tears of a Russian clown.
- [crowd murmurs] - [Prodnose] And is that...
Surely not?
Cherry?
[Willy] Cherry-picked by the pick of the cherry pickers
from the Imperial Gardens in Japan.
- [crowd murmurs] - Well, Mr. Wonka.
I’ve been in this business a very long time,
and I can safely say
that of all the chocolate I have ever tasted,
this is without doubt
the absolute 100% worst.
[crowd gasping] - Whoo!
There we have it, ladies and gentlemen.
An endorsement from Mr...
Wait. The worst?
We three are the fiercest of rivals,
and yet we agree on one thing.
A good chocolate should be simple.
Plain. Uncomplicated.
Whereas this, with all its bells and whistles...
[chuckles] Well, it’s just...
Weird.
[tuts] That’s a shame.
[grunts softly] - If you thought the chocolate was weird,
you’re gonna hate what happens next.
[crowd gasping] - Hmm?
What’s happening? Whoa, what’s going on?
[Willy] That’s the hoverfly. [Fickelgruber whimpering]
[Willy] It’s broken out of its cocoon.
It’s flapping its wings like billy-oh.
- [screams] - [crowd gasping]
[Prodnose] My hair! You mean a fly is doing this?
[Willy] Yes. But don’t worry.
It’ll be completely unharmed. - Oh, thank you.
In about 20 minutes, it’ll get tired
and exit through your rear.
You what?
He means we’re going to fart them out of our botties!
Yes, I know what he meant.
You’re off your rocker, Wonka!
Who in their right mind
wants a chocolate that makes you fly?
[Willy] Well, let’s find out, shall we?
Who’s for a Hoverchoc?
[crowd shouting excitedly] - [man] I want one!
[Willy] One sovereign, please. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
[Willy] One sovereign. Thank you, madam.
Enjoy your flight. - [gasping]
[laughing]
[woman] Look, I’m flying! I’m flying!
[man 1] How’s the view up there?
[man 2] Not too high, darling!
[whistle blows]
[officer] Beat it, kid.
All right, folks. Nothin’ to see here.
Just a small group of people defyin’ the laws of gravity.
- Yeah. - Hook ’em, boys.
[Willy] That’s the Hoverchoc, sir. That’s the point.
[officer 2] I’m afraid we’ve had some complaints about you, sir.
[Willy] Complaints?
That you’re disrupting the trade of other businesses.
I’m regrettably obliged to move you on
and to confiscate
- your earnings. - [coins rattle]
[Willy] Hey! What are you doing? - [nun] No!
[officer] Don’t worry, it’s going to a good cause.
- [nun] Get off. - Sick kids, or something.
Sorry, sir. Rules is rules.
[officer 3] Cheeky devil, you! Come here!
Could you at least leave me a sovereign?
I need to pay for my room.
- Here. - [coins rattling]
Thank you.
[dog barks in distance]
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Evening, Mr. Wonka.
How’d it go?
Not quite as well as I’d hoped.
Oh, shame. Well, I’m afraid we do have to settle up now.
Well, thankfully, the room’s taken care of.
Believe we said a sovereign.
For the room, yes.
But you have incurred a few extras
during the course of your residency with ourselves.
- Have I? - Yes, you have.
There was that glass of gin you had on arrival,
and if I remember rightly,
you warmed your cockles by the fire.
He did indeed, Mrs. Scrubitt.
- [door shuts, locks] - Cockle-warming is extra, see?
Used the stairs to get to his room, and all.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Oh, then you’ve got your stair charge,
and that is per step, I’m afraid. Up and down.
Now, tell me, Mr. Wonka,
did you happen to use the mini bar?
There’s a minibar?
Mini bar of soap.
By the sink.
Uh... I might have, briefly. - Oh-ho!
See? Even Bleacher knows you never touch the mini bar,
and he was raised in a ditch. [snorts]
Add in your mattress hire,
your linen lease, and your pillow penalty,
and you are looking at... - [door shuts]
Ten thousand sovereigns.
You gotta be kidding me? [scoffs]
It’s all in the small print, dearie.
I don’t have 10,000 sovereigns.
[door shuts, locks]
Then we have a problem, Mr. Wonka.
You’re gonna have to work it off
in the Wash House, ain’t ya? - [Tiddles barking]
At a sovereign a day.
Ten thousand days is...
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Twenty-seven years.
- Hey! - [Bleacher] Four months.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] And 16 days.
[Mrs. Scrubitt chuckles] - [Willy screaming]
[grunts]
- [gasping] - [Abacus] Ah.
[Abacus] You must be Mr. Wonka. - Who are you?
Abacus Crunch, chartered accountant.
At least, I was.
- Now, uh... - He runs the place.
And you best do as he says, or you’ll answer to me.
Piper Benz. Plumber by trade.
[Abacus] This is Miss Lottie Bell.
[quietly] Hi.
She don’t talk much.
[dramatically] And I’m Larry Chucklesworth!
Comedian.
[Abacus] Hmm.
So they got all of you, too, did they?
[Abacus] I’m afraid so.
We each of us found ourselves
in need of a cheap place to stay,
and neglected to read the small print.
One moment of stupidity, followed by endless regret.
Sounds like my third marriage. [laughs]
I’m sorry, I do that a lot.
He does. - A lot.
[Larry] I’ve only been married once,
and it didn’t work out.
[Willy] There’s gotta be some way outta here.
[Piper] You don’t think we’ve tried?
There are bars on the window and there’s a dog on the door.
[Abacus] And even if you could get out,
that contract is watertight.
[Piper] If you’re not here at roll call, Mrs. Scrubitt will call the police,
they’ll bring you right back,
and she’ll charge you a thousand for the inconvenience.
- [barks] - [yelps]
[Abacus] All right, everybody. Back to work.
- [barks] - Come along, Mr. Wonka.
- [barks] - You come with me. [sighs]
You’re in here. On suds.
Whoa.
♪ First, you pick up The apparel ♪
♪ And you stick it In a barrel ♪
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
♪ Then you take It to the mangle And you turn a giant handle ♪
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
[grunting]
♪ Then it’s hung up really high Until it’s nearly dry ♪
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
[steam hissing]
♪ But when we sing this song The day don’t seem so long ♪
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
It’s still long, though.
[bell dings]
[barks]
♪ Gotta press out All the creases ♪
♪ From the dresses And chemises ♪
♪ Rub, rub ♪
♪ Gotta fold ’em Like they told us ♪
♪ Or they’ll scold us ♪
♪ And withhold our grub, grub ♪
[blows whistle]
♪ We all signed the dotted line So we gotta do our time ♪
- ♪ Scrub, scrub ♪ - [music tempo slows]
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
And if you don’t agree...
See clause five.
- Section 7A. - Paragraph 22.
Part D.
Which says...
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
[whimsical music resumes]
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
- [music ends]
- [water dripping] - [floorboard creaking]
[light buzzing]
[dog barking outside]
[sighs]
- [knock at door] - [Noodle] Room service.
Told you to read the small print.
Slight problem with that.
You can’t read, can you?
I focused my studies almost exclusively on chocolate.
I see.
For everything else, I’ve relied on the kindness of strangers.
[scoffs] And look where that’s got you. The staff quarters.
You’ve got a bed.
[shouts]
You had a bed.
Desk, and a wash basin/toilet.
- Ugh. - The water comes
in two temperatures. Cold... - [faucet squeaks]
...and colder.
How much do you owe them?
Ten thousand.
Count yourself lucky. I owe 30.
What? How do you owe them money?
I thought they found you down a laundry chute.
Oh, they did.
Took me in out of the goodness of their hearts
and charged me for the privilege.
What a pair of monsters.
The greedy beat the needy every time, Mr. Wonka.
Guess it’s just the way of the world.
[Willy] Oh, come on, Noodle.
That’s just your Orphan Syndrome talking.
- My what? - Your Orphan Syndrome.
And we are not gonna be eating any slops.
What are you doing?
I’m making chocolate, o’ course.
How do you like it? Dark?
White? Nutty? Absolutely insane?
I don’t know.
I’ve never had any.
[gibbers] You’ve never had chocolate?
- No. - [shouts] What?
You’ve never had chocolate?
Still no.
Well, this is unbelievable. I mean, this is outrageous.
Well, lucky for you, Noodle, I have a selection
of the world’s finest ingredients
right here in my travel factory.
[gentle music playing]
Whoa.
Where to begin? That’s the question.
I know!
Silver Linings.
Made of condensed thunder clouds
and liquid sunlight.
[sniffs] Helps you see that faint ray o’ hope
beyond the shadow of despair.
Just what we need,
- wouldn’t you say? - [chuckles softly]
Did you always wanna make chocolate?
[Willy] No. [chuckles]
Back when I was your age,
I wanted to be a magician.
My mom was a cook.
We lived on the river, just the two of us.
In a perfect little world of our own.
The way I remember it, I used to spend
every waking hour trying to come up
with some new trick to impress my mom.
Bravo!
[Willy] But the real magic came from her.
We didn’t have a lotta money, but each week,
she brought home one cocoa bean.
And by the time my birthday came around,
there was enough to make a single bar o’ chocolate.
But it wasn’t just any old chocolate.
Far from it.
This has to be the best chocolate in the world.
[Mamma] Oh, don’t know about that.
They say the very best comes from a place
called the Galeries Gourmet.
Theirs can’t be any better than yours, Mamma.
It’s impossible.
Well, as it so happens,
I do know a little secret
that even those fancy-pants don’t.
What is it?
I’ll tell ya.
When you’re older. Now get to sleep. [chuckles]
[exhales]
We should go, Amma.
Where’s that, then?
To the Galeries Gourmet. - What?
And start a shop? - Yeah.
With our name above the door and everything.
That’s a wonderful dream, honey.
Is that all it is?
Just a dream?
Hey now.
Every good thing in this world started with a dream.
So you hold on to yours.
And when you do share chocolate with the world,
oh, I’ll be right there beside ya.
Promise?
Do better than that.
[chuckles] I pinkie promise.
Now,
sleep.
[Noodle] So, what was it, Willy?
What was the secret?
[Willy] I never found out.
Soon after, she fell sick.
And before I knew it, all I had left was her bar of chocolate.
That’s why I’m here, Noodle.
So I can feel the same way I did back then,
eating chocolate with her.
What do you mean?
My mom once promised that when I share chocolate with the world,
she’d be right there beside me.
[machine clicking]
I know it sounds crazy, but I always hoped
she’d somehow keep that promise.
She might even tell me her secret.
[bell dings]
[both chuckle]
Here. Try one.
Wish you hadn’t done that.
You don’t like it? - No,
I like it. It’s just...
What?
Now each day I don’t have chocolate will be a little harder.
Then how would you like to have all the chocolate you can eat, every day,
for the rest of your life?
A lifetime supply?
A lifetime supply.
What would I have to do?
Not much. Just get me out of here.
[gasps] Are you crazy? - Shh!
It’s easy. I’ll get someone to cover my shift,
and you could smuggle me out in your laundry cart.
- But I... - Just for a few hours, mind.
No one will even know I was gone.
What’s the point of that?
To sell chocolate, o’ course! We’ll split the profits
and pay off Mrs. Scrubitt in no time.
It’s a nice idea, Willy.
- It’s a great idea. - But it’ll never work.
’Course it will. Eat your chocolate.
[Noodle] You don’t understand.
Mrs. Scrubitt’s like a hawk. She keeps her beady eye on everything
that comes in and out of the Wash House except...
Huh.
What is it?
No, it’s nothing.
Oh, okay.
Huh.
Double-huh! That’s not nothing.
That’s the Silver Lining. It’s given you an idea.
Okay. So, the one time she dropped her guard
was when this aristocrat came to the laundry.
He was only asking for directions,
but she was all over him like a rash.
It was disgusting.
That’s it, Noodle.
All we have to do is find an aristocrat
and slip out while she’s distracted.
Yeah, but...
where are we going to find an aristocrat?
[ding]
Huh.
Huh?
Huh.
A double-huh.
Do you have a pencil and paper?
- Uh-huh. - I got an idea.
[distant singing]
[soft music playing]
- [male choir singing] - [knocks along to song]
[lock clicks]
I’ve come to make a confession.
[singing continues]
You sound great, fellas. Keep it up.
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
I have had 150 of these since my last confession.
Temptation is very hard to resist.
Mmm.
[chief] Send me down.
- [whirring] - I’ll see you later.
[elevator dings]
[woman] Good evening, Chief.
They’re all waiting.
Thank you very much.
Good evening, gentlemen. I’ve brought my invoice.
One chocolatier moved on for the usual fee.
Oh. [chuckles]
Here we go, baby.
There’s the good stuff. Yeah.
[Slugworth] Tell me, Chief... [chief] Mm-hmm?
...how would you like to earn a few more of those?
Oh, I am listening.
[Slugworth] We think that Mr. Wonka
might require a little more than simply moving on.
- Oh. - [Slugworth] He’s good.
Too good.
And what’s more,
he only charges a sovereign a chocolate.
So anyone can afford them, even the...
You know, the...
- The poor? - [gags] Oh, dear.
I’ve just been a little bit sick in my mouth.
Could you please refrain from mentioning
that demographic in my presence?
He doesn’t like it when people say "poor."
- [gags] - [Prodnose] Sorry, Felix.
We want you to send Wonka a message.
Backed up by physical force.
That if he attempts to sell chocolate in this town again,
he is liable to meet with a little accident.
In which he dies.
Yeah, no, I... I got that already.
You don’t have to keep saying it.
I’m just making sure we’re all on the same page.
Well, no one’s on your page.
What’s that supposed to mean? Well, I know what it means...
Actually, what does it mean?
[Slugworth] Gentlemen, please.
So, what do you say, Chief?
Do we have a deal?
Well, listen, fellas, I’m an officer of the law.
I can’t just go around roughin’ up your competition.
I’m sorry.
Well now, Chief.
[jazzy dance music playing] - [taps along to music]
I can see that you’re a man of integrity.
[shakes along to music]
Thank you.
But ask yourself this...
♪ Have you got a sweet tooth?♪
♪ I do ♪
♪ A hunger That you have to feed? ♪
♪ Have you got a sweet tooth?♪
♪ I do ♪
♪ Well, we’ve got Everything you need ♪
[chief] Mmm.
♪ Don’t give me That conscience nonsense ♪
♪ It’s simply ♪
♪ Quid pro quo ♪
♪ So, a hundred Of your favorites ♪
♪ Sorry, I’m afraid it’s no ♪
Promised the wife I’d cut down on chocolate.
You know, I gotta get in shape for the Policeman’s Ball, so... [chuckles]
♪ But think about Your sweet tooth ♪
♪ I do ♪
♪ I’ve had it since I was a boy ♪
♪ Your naughty Little sweet tooth ♪
♪ It’s true ♪
♪ The only thing That brings you joy ♪
♪ Don’t look At your waistline ♪
♪ It’s fine! ♪ - ♪ Come on! ♪
♪ Who needs To see their toes?♪
♪ So ♪
♪ Seven hundred boxes ♪
[chief whistles]
♪ That’s a lot Of chocolates... ♪
[Slugworth] ♪ Mm-hmm ♪
No!
[jazzy music continues]
Gentlemen, let’s give it the big sell.
[chief grunts]
[music building]
♪ Have you got a sweet tooth?♪
- ♪ Me, too ♪ - ♪ Fellas... ♪
♪ Have you got The hots for chocs?♪
I do, really. Yeah.
♪ Do you think that candy’s ♪
- ♪ Dandy? ♪ - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ Well, we’ve got lots and lots And lots and lots ♪
- ♪ And lots and lots ♪ - ♪ Why am I singing? ♪
♪ If the wife’s complaining ♪
♪ Body-shaming ♪
♪ It’s amazing What a tailor can conceal ♪
♪ Keep your wretched Chocolates ♪
♪ Eighteen-hundred boxes?♪
- ♪ Oh, deal ♪ - [music ends]
- [bones crunch] - [chief groans]
[blows whistle]
[sniffs]
- Bell. - [barks]
[Lottie, softly] Here. - Benz.
[Tiddles barks] - [Piper] Mm.
- Chucklesworth. - [Tiddles barks]
- [groans] - Crunch.
- Here. - [Bleacher] Wonka.
- [Tiddles growls] - [Mrs. Scrubitt] Bleacher!
Toilet’s blocked again. - [groans]
Oh, wow.
The unmistakable sound of love.
You what?
Don’t tell me you hadn’t noticed.
What?
She’s madly in love with you.
Mrs. Scrubitt?
[Willy] Besotted.
And why not? Look at you.
Fine figure of a man.
You just need to tidy yourself up a little bit.
Get some new clothes.
Have a bath.
A bath?
You do know what they say, right?
What do they say?
She’ll be thankful for an ankle.
- Yes. - And pleased to see your knees.
- Right. - But if you wanna
make her sigh... - Tell me.
Show her some thigh.
[chuckling]
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Bleacher!
It’s overflowing now. - [water flowing]
Get in there. Back to work. - All right.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] It’s up to me ankles!
[Tiddles barks] - Time-waster.
[door closes] - Bleacher!
Curse that idle peasant.
What you got there? - [gasps]
Nothing.
Do you like that coop, Noodle?
All right.
I was collecting laundry from Professor Monocle the other day.
Yeah.
He’s writing a book about the Bavarian Royal Family.
Boring.
He’s got sketches of noblemen all over his wall.
So?
This one looked rather familiar.
Oh.
Blow me. That looks exactly like...
Mr. Bleacher.
Are you telling me Bleacher is a Bavarian aristocrat?
- Uh-huh. - [scoffs]
Go and get my gin.
♪ First, You pick up the apparel ♪
♪ Then you stick it In a barrel ♪
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
♪ Then you put it Through the mangle ♪
[straining] ♪ Making sure You don’t get strangled ♪
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪ - [yelps]
Whoa!
♪ Oh, Tiddles, Here’s your chance ♪
- [woofs] - ♪ To chew my mailman pants! ♪
[barks rhythmically]
[panting]
♪ Something must be going on ♪
♪ ’Cause we never Change our song ♪
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
Oh, so you finally managed to drag your lazy...
[romantic music plays]
Have you done something with your hair?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
[leather squeaking]
Where’d you get them dungarees?
- [door opens] - [Bleacher] Lost property.
Why,
do they suit me?
[leather squeaking] - Yeah.
Not bad, I suppose.
What’re you doing all the way over there?
- [fire crackling] - Keeping my knees warm.
Well, why don’t you come over here
and have a glass o’ gin?
Why don’t you come over here,
where it’s all hot?
[screams] Whoa!
[exclaims] Oh! Oh, my Lord. - [both chuckle]
[whimsical music resumes]
[Willy] Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you
a brand-new contraption of my creation,
an innovation in laundrification.
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
Let me ask you a question, how does Tiddles wanna spend all his time?
Chasing after mailmen. - [Tiddles barks]
And what do I have to do all day, fellow scrubbers, please?
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
But now, with Willy Wonka’s Wild and Wonderful Wishy-washy Wonka Walker,
please don’t make me say that again,
Tiddles gets to run and I can have fun.
♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
Just popping out for a bit.
I’ll be back before roll call.
Until then, Tiddles has agreed to...
- ♪ Scrub, scrub ♪ - [whimsical music continues]
So, tell me all about Bavaria.
- Where? - Where you’re from.
Oh, yes. It’s very... - [bell dings]
- ...Bavarian. - [Mrs. Scrubitt] Oh, whoo.
[music ends]
All clear.
Really? - Yeah.
We did it! Well done, Noodle.
I can’t believe it worked.
Wait till you see how much chocolate I made last night.
We sell this, and we’re gonna be...
Oh, no.
What’s going on, Willy?
Not again.
Where are the chocolates?
I don’t know how to tell you this, Noodle, but...
they’ve been stolen.
- Stolen? - Mm-hmm.
Who by?
The Little Orange Man.
What?
The Little Orange Man. I didn’t tell you about him?
No, ya didn’t.
He’s my nemesis. About yea high.
Comes in the dead of the night,
and he steals all my chocolate.
Been happening every few weeks for the past three, four years now.
Really?
Sometimes I spy him
in that strange realm ’twixt sleep and wake,
green hair glinting in the moonlight.
Green hair?
One day I shall catch him, Noodle.
- Willy. - When I do...
Willy! - Hmm?
You don’t seriously expect me to believe this, do you?
Of course I do. What other explanation is there?
I don’t know,
that you go to sleep... - Mm-hmm.
...dream ’bout Little Green Man...
Orange man, green hair. Yeah.
...and while you’re dreaming,
stuff your face with chocolate!
Stuff my...
That makes a lot more sense.
Why’d I ever think this would work?
[Willy] I’ve been eating all my own chocolate?
- Stupid Silver Linings. - I don’t think I have been.
Hey!
There’s nothing stupid about my chocolate.
[sighs] If Mrs. Scrubitt had spotted us,
I’d be in the coop right now.
Look, I’m sorry, okay?
But we can make more chocolate.
Only problem is I’m all out of milk.
Well, that’s not a problem.
[sighs] Milk.
A, that is stealing.
And C,
Willy Wonka does not use any old cow’s milk.
For this particular creation,
I require the milk of a giraffe.
Okay... fine.
As a matter of fact, there’s one at the zoo.
Bingala!
But A, the zoo is not that way.
Great.
And B,
they’re not gonna let you just walk in there and milk it.
Mm. That, my dear Noodle, is why we’re very lucky
the Little Orange Man didn’t find this.
What is it?
[Noodle] From Zoo Management.
In recognition of your years of service.
But I’ve only been here a year.
Which is why there’s only one chocolate.
Huh.
Well, thank you very much.
[Noodle] You’re welcome. Good night!
[whispers] Hey, well done, Noodle.
So, what is it really?
It’s called A Big Night Out.
A single chocolate that perfectly mimics
a night on the town. - [guard] Mmm.
The outer layer, a champagne truffle.
[guard] That’s lovely.
[Willy] The next is white wine.
[guard] Mmm. [grunts]
[Willy] Followed by red.
[guard] Now we are talking!
[Willy] That’s when the singing and dancing starts.
[guard singing] ♪ We’re gonna Have a party tonight!♪
It’s when he hits the layer o’ whiskey fudge he’ll get emotional.
[guard sobbing] She was the only woman I ever loved!
He might do something reckless.
[guard] I’ll give her a call.
What harm could it do? [clears throat]
Hello, Gwennie? It’s Basil.
I just wanted to say, I’ve always loved you.
I love you so much. What?
It’s Basil Bond.
We sat together in chemistry at school.
No, no, don’t hang up!
Finally, some old port from the back of the cupboard, and...
[guard groans, snores]
[Willy] Hmm.
[smacks lips] Let’s go.
Noodle, let’s go.
[flamingo honks]
[Noodle] Why don’t they fly away?
[Willy] I don’t know. Perhaps they haven’t thought of it.
[Noodle] You’re kidding? [Willy] No, I’m serious.
That’s the thing about flamingos.
They need someone to show ’em the way.
[Noodle] Huh.
[animal moans]
[Willy, softly] Giraffe.
Giraffe. Giraffe.
Ah! Giraffe.
- [growling] - [screams]
[door bangs]
You have got to learn how to read.
Why?
You were nearly eaten by a tiger.
"Nearly" is the key word there, Noodle.
I’ve nearly been eaten by a lot of things,
and none of them got more than a nibble.
[groans]
Giraffe.
Okay, I’ll learn how to read.
[door creaks]
[gasps]
[Willy] Good evening, Miss, um...
[Noodle] Abigail. - [Willy] Abigail.
[Abigail snorts]
[Willy] Whoa! Easy, now.
I brought acacia mints.
[sniffing]
Oh.
Giraffes are just crazy about my acacia mints.
Love ’em more than anything else.
Except being scratched under the chin, you see?
[snuffling]
[Willy] You wanna give it a go, Noodle?
[Noodle] Me?
[Willy] Yeah. Why not?
[Noodle] Okay.
[both chuckling]
- Ugh! - [Willy] Oh!
[Willy chuckles] Think she likes you.
Miss Abigail,
if my colleague here gives you a good scratch,
do you think you could possibly spare us
a pint or two of your milk?
[Noodle] So, have you done this before?
[Willy] Once. In Africa. - [milk squirting]
Magnificent beast.
[Noodle] Was she wild? [Willy] Wild?
She was absolutely furious.
You sure can be silly, Willy.
I suppose that’s true-dle, Noodle.
True-dle?
That doesn’t work, does it?
Nothing rhymes with Noodle.
Where’d you get that name, anyway?
Doesn’t matter.
No, go on.
[Noodle] This.
It’s all I have of my real parents. See?
"N" for Noodle. Or Nora, or Nina,
or nothing at all.
Can’t you trace the owner?
You don’t think I’ve tried?
When I was a kid,
I always hoped that I’d find my parents.
And they’d live in this beautiful old building full of books.
My mom, she’d be waiting there for me at the door,
and I’d run into her arms.
She’d give me this big hug like she’d never let me go.
But then I realized it was just a stupid dream.
[tuts]
There’s nothing stupid about that.
[Noodle] Isn’t there?
[Willy] I know things haven’t been easy for you, Noodle.
But they’re gonna get better.
I’m not gonna let you rot in that Wash House forever.
You promise?
I can do better than that.
I pinkie promise.
And that’s the most solemn vow there is.
[chuckles softly]
Get scratchin’.
We don’t have long until that guard comes to-dle, Noodle.
- To-dle! - It’s not even a word!
Oh.
I’m gonna keep working on it.
[chuckles]
- ♪ For a moment ♪ - [gentle music plays]
♪ Life doesn’t seem quite So bad ♪
♪ For a moment ♪
♪ I kinda forgot to be sad ♪
[chuckles]
♪ He turns night to day ♪
♪ But don’t get carried away ♪
♪ Never let down your guard ♪
♪ Let them into your heart For a moment ♪
♪ Not for a moment ♪
[Willy] I got it, Noodle! Listen to this.
♪ Noodle, Noodle, Apple strudel ♪
♪ Some people don’t ♪
♪ And some people doodle ♪
♪ Snakes, flamingos, Bears, and poodles ♪
♪ Singing this song Will improve your moodle ♪
- [laughing] - ♪ Noodle-dee-dee ♪
♪ Noodle-dee-dum ♪
[Noodle] Willy! [chuckles]
♪ We’re having oodles ♪ - [laughing]
♪ And oodles of fun ♪
[both] Thanks, Abigail!
- ♪ For a moment ♪ - ♪ Noodle, Noodle, Apple strudel ♪
♪ My life has turned Upside down ♪
♪ Some people don’t And some people doodle ♪
- ♪ For a moment ♪ - ♪ Snakes, flamingos ♪
- ♪ Bears and poodles ♪ - ♪ I can’t keep my feet ♪
♪ On the ground ♪
♪ Singing this song Will improve your moodle ♪
♪ He’s the one good thing ♪ - ♪ Noodle-dee-dee ♪
♪ Noodle-dee-dum ♪
♪ That’s ever happened to me ♪ - ♪ We’re having oodles ♪
♪ And oodles of fun ♪
[instrumental interlude]
[officer] Chief,
you know that fella you wanted a word with?
[gentle music continues]
[Noodle] ♪ For a moment ♪
♪ Life doesn’t seem Quite so bad ♪
♪ And for a moment ♪
♪ I kinda forgot to be sad ♪ - [music fades out]
- [siren ringing] - [vehicle approaching]
[chief] Mr. Wonka! A word in private, if I may.
Certainly, Officer.
- Be on your way, Affable. - [officer] Are you sure, sir?
[chief] Oh, yeah. This is between me and Mr. Wonka.
[Willy] You better get outta here, Noodle.
- But Willy... - Don’t worry about me.
I’ve talked my way out of tighter spots than this.
I’ll meet you back at the cart.
Now, Officer, if this is about Abigail...
I got a message for you, pal.
Whoa! No.
[muffled screaming]
Do not sell chocolate in this town!
- [gasping] - You got it?
Not really, I’m afraid.
Oh, so you got a mouth on you, huh, Candy Man?
I said...
- [muffled whimpering] - Don’t sell chocolate!
[gasps]
You hear me that time?
I have water in my ears.
Oh.
Yeah, that... You’ve...
Okay, that makes sense. Yeah.
Listen, I’m sorry.
I’m all outta whack.
Truth is, I don’t wanna be doin’ this.
I don’t want you to be doing this.
But I still gotta give ya a message.
Sell chocolate in this town again,
you’re gonna get more than a bonk on the head.
I don’t have a bonk on the head.
[gasps, sighs]
What is with me today? I...
Can you give me just a second? - Sure.
[Mrs. Scrubitt laughing flirtily]
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Lord Bleachowitz.
Mrs. Scrubitt. Your eyes are like two rabbit droppings
in a couple of bowls
- of custard. - Oh! [chuckles]
You really do have a way with words. [laughing]
[Willy grunts] See you downstairs.
Geronimo!
[Abacus] Ah, Mr. Wonka.
Good of you to join us. - [sighs]
[pants] Not late, am I? - [Abacus] Well, no.
Cutting it a bit fine, but...
Has Tiddles been pulling his weight?
- [Tiddles barks] - As a matter of fact,
Tiddles has been a very good boy,
and productivity is up 30%. - [barks]
[Larry] We took the afternoon off.
[Abacus] But that’s not the point.
This is the point.
Not now, Larry. - Sorry.
[Abacus] The point is...
Where have you been?
And why do you smell of giraffe?
Guess I owe you guys an explanation.
[Lottie] Mm. [Willy] The truth is,
I’m a chocolate maker.
Not just any chocolate. The best in the world.
Ah, well, Noodle’s flattering me, but she’s right.
They’re exquisite.
Plan is to sell chocolate and pay off Mrs. Scrubitt.
At least, that was the plan, until...
Oh, let me guess.
You had a little run-in with the Chief of Police?
How do you know that?
Because I was Slugworth’s accountant.
For a week, at least.
His regular bookkeeper was off sick.
- Station, please. - [Abacus] And I was called
halfway across the country to take his place.
Good evening, Mr. Slugworth.
I just need your signature on...
Seemed a straightforward job.
Oh.
Until I realized
there were two sets of books.
One for the authorities,
and one which told the truth.
Slugworth, Fickelgruber, and Prodnose
have been in cahoots for years.
A sort of chocolate cartel, if you will.
They’ve been watering down their chocolate
and storing the excess in a secret vault
deep beneath the cathedral,
guarded round the clock by a corrupt cleric
and 500 chocoholic monks.
The only way in is down a secret elevator, and past
the Mistress of the Keys. - [elevator dings]
A subterranean sentinel... - [grunting]
...who hasn’t seen sunlight in years.
[mistress of the keys] Good evening.
[Abacus] There’s thousands of gallons of chocolate
down there, and the Cartel use it to bribe,
blackmail, and bludgeon the competition.
[Slugworth] I do not care that they were school children... - [gasps]
...they were in our way. Next time, put your foot down.
Miss Bon-Bon?
[Miss Bon-Bon] Good morning, Mr. Slugworth.
From now on, I’ll be keeping the ledger in the vault.
[Miss Bon-Bon] Very good, sir.
Oh, and Mr. Crunch?
Yes?
You’re fired.
Very good, sir.
[Abacus] I’m sorry, Mr. Wonka,
but they’ve got you right where they want you.
You can’t get a shop without selling chocolate,
and you can’t sell chocolate without a shop.
- [dog barking] - [wind whistling]
[Willy, softly] Hey, Noodle!
Noodle! Psst!
[switch clicks]
[Noodle] What is it, Willy?
Watch out.
Whoa!
What’s this for?
Your wages. A lifetime supply, remember?
You didn’t have to do that.
Of course I did. I gave you my word.
Well, thanks.
I’ve got something for you, too. - For me?
What’s this?
Glass half full? - Other way up.
[Willy] Glass half empty.
It’s an "A." Your first letter.
I’m teaching you to read.
Oh, Noodle.
Well, I can’t have my business partner eaten by a tiger.
Or nearly eaten.
So we’re still partners?
Sure, but I don’t know how we’re gonna sell any chocolate.
Every time the police show up, you’d have to vanish into thin air.
Like a magician.
[gasps] Right!
Yeah, but it’s one thing when you’re onstage.
You have ropes and pulleys and trapdoors.
There’s none of those on the street.
[Piper] As a matter of fact, there are.
There are trapdoors all over the city.
They’re called storm drains.
I’d be happy to show you around
if you cut me in on the action.
- [switch clicks] - [Larry] If you’re recruiting,
I’d do anything to get out of here
and make up with my wife.
I don’t have any practical skills, but,
[gurgling] I can talk like I’m under water.
And if you need someone to handle communications,
I’m your woman.
[Willy] Lottie?
What? Why you all staring at me?
I did not know she could speak.
I thought you were a mime. - [Lottie] No,
I actually used to work at the telephone exchange.
But back then, I was quite the chatterbox. [chuckles]
But since I came here,
I haven’t had much to chat about.
- [switch clicks] - [Abacus] Far be it from me
to pour cold water on all your fun,
but if Mrs. Scrubitt catches you trying to escape,
you’ll all get six months in the coop.
So just think about that
before getting involved in this harebrained scheme.
But it’s not harebrained, Abacus.
Willy’s chocolates are incredible.
Try one.
[Abacus] That’s very kind of you, Noodle.
I don’t care how good his chocolates are.
When do we start?
[bell dinging melodically]
[Colin] I guess what I’m trying to say, Barbara, is, um,
- will you marry me? - [Barbara] Oh. [sighs]
I dunno, Colin.
You’re a lovely man, but I’m looking for someone
to sweep me off my feet. You know,
whisk me off to a life of adventure.
Could that be you?
- No. - Oh.
Not with my chronic lack of self-confidence.
Uh, I best be off. - Oh, but Colin...
Sorry to have wasted your time, Barbara.
Uh, taxi!
[sighs heavily]
[waiter] Uh, monsieur, can I help you?
Oh, waiter.
Do you have anything for a broken heart?
♪ So the taxis never stop ♪
♪ The girls think You’re a flop ♪
♪ You’re wet and cold, You’re getting old ♪
♪ Your confidence is shot ♪
It’s true.
♪ When people look at you ♪
♪ They seem to look Straight through ♪
♪ Or like you’re something Brown they found ♪
♪ Upon the bottom Of their shoe ♪
Have you been following me?
♪ But this should lift The gloom My Giraffe Milk Macaroon ♪
♪ Just take a chance And you’ll be dancing ♪
♪ To a different tune ♪
♪ Goodbye to feeling small And frightened of it all ♪
♪ Just eat a few of these ♪
♪ And you’ll be feeling ten feet tall ♪
[music pauses]
♪ Well, there’s ♪
- ♪ Chocolate ♪ - [cheerful music plays]
♪ And there’s chocolate ♪
♪ Only Wonka’s makes Your confidence skyrocke-let ♪
He doesn’t even work here.
♪ Put your hand ♪
♪ Into your pocke-let ♪ - [excited chatter]
♪ Get yourself Some Wonka chocolate ♪
♪ Madam, just one kiss ♪
♪ Yes, please!♪
♪ You’ve never had chocolate ♪ - [wolf-whistles]
- ♪ Like this ♪ - [whistle blowing]
[crowd] ♪ No, we’ve never Had chocolate like this ♪
[cheerful music continues]
[grunts]
♪ Have you tried His new one? ♪ - ♪ No ♪
♪ Oh, you’ve got to have a go ♪
♪ Just pop one in And everything becomes A Broadway show ♪
[lights buzz]
♪ The news that Makes you gasp ♪
♪ The jokes that Make you laugh ♪
♪ All that you say And do all day ♪
♪ Will be choreographed ♪
♪ Lost your hair, Can’t think where ♪
♪ Feeling fairly bare Up there ♪
♪ Don’t despair, I come prepared ♪
♪ Behold My Hair Repair Eclair ♪
♪ It’s made from ground vanilla From the markets of Manila ♪
♪ Take heed, Eat more than three ♪
♪ And you’ll end up Like a gorilla ♪
[meows]
♪ Well, there’s chocolate ♪
♪ And there’s chocolate ♪
[meows]
♪ Only Wonka’s makes you Rock around the clock-elet ♪
[tram bell dings]
♪ Put your hand Into your pocke-let ♪
- ♪ Get yourself ♪ - ♪ Oh, put a sock in it! ♪
♪ Make sure They’re all frisked ♪ - [passengers gasp]
♪ Have you ever Had chocolate like this?♪
♪ I’ve never Had chocolate like this ♪
[crowd] ♪ Put your hands Into your pocke-let ♪
♪ Get yourself Some Wonka chocolate ♪
♪ Put your hands Into your pocke-let ♪
♪ Get yourself Some Wonka chocolate ♪
♪ Put your hands Into your pocke-let ♪
♪ Get yourself Some Wonka chocolate ♪
♪ Put your hands Into your pocke-let ♪
♪ Get yourself some choc ♪
♪ Well, there’s literate ♪ - [music softens]
♪ And illiterate ♪
♪ Can you tell me What this word is?♪
♪ Not a bit of it ♪
[sighs]
♪ Well, that’s a vowel And that’s a consonant ♪
♪ What’s that now? You’re talking nonse-nence ♪
♪ I should call it quits ♪
♪ But you’ve never Sold chocolate like this ♪
[chuckles]
♪ Well, there’s chocolate ♪ - I understand that, yeah.
♪ And there’s chocolate ♪ - Totally true.
♪ Only Wonka drives a hole Right through our profi-lets ♪
[chief] Yes, but what I’m trying to tell you is that...
♪ If we don’t get on top Of this ♪
- ♪ We’ll go bust ♪ - ♪ Choc-apocalypse! ♪
♪ We’ll cease to exist ♪
But, fellas...
♪ You’ve never Had chocolate like this ♪
♪ No, we’ve never Had chocolate like this ♪
- ♪ Well, there’s chocolate ♪ - ♪ Well, there’s chocolate ♪
- ♪ And there’s chocolate ♪ - ♪ And there’s chocolate ♪
[Willy] ♪ Only mine will find you Buying wedding frocke-lets ♪
[church bell tolls]
♪ We have just tied the knot ♪
♪ And it’s all because Of Wonka’s chocolate ♪
[crowd] ♪ Off to a life Of bliss ♪
♪ You’ve never Had chocolate like this ♪
♪ No, we’ve never had ♪
♪ Chocolate like this ♪
♪ Have you ever Had chocolate like this?♪
♪ No, we’ve never had Chocolate ♪
♪ No, we’ve never Had chocolate like this ♪
[both wolf-whistle]
[siren ringing]
[crowd vocalizing final note]
[whistle blowing]
[music ends]
[chief] All right, where is he?
- Where’d he go? - [crowd murmuring]
[chief sighs]
[grunts]
So that’s how you’re doin’ it.
Affable,
I want a man on every storm drain in the city.
Are you sure, sir?
Shouldn’t we be focusing on all those unsolved murders?
No, no, no, no, this is the priority.
Okay. [grunts]
[exhales sharply, grunts] - [bones cracking]
Okay, you know what? I’m gonna need your help up.
Yep, there we go. [grunts]
Pretty sure I’ve gained about 150 pounds
in the last two weeks.
[soft creaking]
[male voice] Ooh!
[grunts]
- [Willy grunts] - [bed creaking]
[grunts softly]
[chuckles]
- [click] - [gasps]
[screaming]
[grunting] - Gotcha!
[Oompa Loompa] What the devil?
Let me out of here. I demand to be released.
[Willy] Incredible. It can speak.
[Oompa Loompa] Well, of course I can speak.
Now let me out of here, or I shall shriek.
- [Willy] Wow. - Let me out!
[Willy] Not until I take a good look at you.
- [scoffs] - [Willy] Wow.
Good evening.
So you’re the funny little man who’s been following me.
"Funny little man"? How dare you.
I will have you know
that I am a perfectly respectable size
for an Oompa Loompa. - [glass clinks]
An Oompa-what-now?
In fact, in Loompaland, I am regarded as something of a whopper.
They call me Lofty. - [chuckles]
So, I will thank you to stop gawping at me
as though I was something unpleasant
you’d found in your handkerchief.
I find it uncomfortable and, frankly, rude.
Um... [smacks lips]
- Sorry. - Now let me out of here.
You have absolutely no right
to go around embottling innocent strangers.
Innocent?
Hold on, you’ve been stealing from me. For years.
Well, you started it.
Me?
You stole our cocoa beans.
What are you talking about?
Do you mean that you don’t even remember?
Remember what?
The day you... [sniffles]
destroyed my life. [fake-sobs]
No, I don’t remember that.
Well then, young man.
Allow me to refresh your memory
in the form of a song so ruinously catchy
that it may never leave your mind.
[plays lilting tune]
Oh, I don’t think I wanna hear that.
- Too late. - [upbeat music playing]
I’ve started dancing now.
Once we’ve started, we can’t stop, you see.
♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-doo ♪
♪ I’ve got a tragic tale For you ♪
♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-dee ♪
♪ If you are wise, You’ll listen to me ♪
[horn toots] - ♪ Dear Loompaland Is both luscious and green ♪
♪ But not conducive To growing the bean ♪
♪ My job was guarding What little we’d got ♪
♪ You came along ♪
♪ And pinched the lot ♪
[Willy] Hey, why didn’t you say something?
[Oompa Loompa] Well, perhaps I drifted off.
- [snoring] - ♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-day ♪
♪ When I awoke, They sent me away ♪
♪ I’m disgraced, Cast out in the cold ♪
♪ Till I’ve paid my friends Back a thousandfold ♪
[Willy] A thousandfold? You gotta be kidding me!
[Oompa Loompa] I repeat...
♪ A thousandfold ♪ - [music stops]
Hah. Wow.
Um... [smacks lips] Mr. Loompa,
if you really think that’s a reasonable penalty
for taking three beans...
Four beans.
...four beans,
then I’m sure we can come to some sort of understanding.
But I can’t give you my entire supply.
I got people counting on me.
Hmm. [inhales]
Very well.
I tell you what.
You let me out of here,
and we can discuss it, like gentlemen. Hmm?
All right.
Ah, thank you. Now, would you be so very kind
as to pass me that miniature frying pan?
Hmm. This one?
No, no. The heavier one, please.
All right.
Thank you. Thank you very...
Ooh, I say, that is quite a beast, isn’t it?
Now, come a little closer.
That’s it, closer, closer, closer,
come on, cozy on up. - [chuckles] Okay.
- There we are. - [chuckles] What?
- Ow! - [upbeat music resumes]
[grunts]
[Willy] Ow!
Oompa Loompas do not negotiate.
Good day, sir. - [groans]
[Willy] But that’s my last jar!
I said good day.
[music stops]
- [thud] - [Noodle] He came back?
[Willy] Yes, Noodle, but this time I set a trap.
And he walked right into it.
So, where is he?
[Willy] Ah, well, we had a fight, you see. He won.
Hit me on the head with a frying pan
and jumped out of the window.
Of course he did. [sighs]
You don’t believe me, do you?
Honestly? No.
No!
No.
- No. - Definitely not.
But,
as it so happens,
we don’t need to sell chocolate today.
And why is that?
[Noodle] You know that shop?
The one you’ve been dreaming of?
[keys jingling]
[lock turning]
[door creaking]
[Abacus] Now, I know what you’re thinking.
It may need a little work.
[lights buzz]
[Piper] Looks like someone left the water running
twenty years ago and the ceiling fell through.
And the ceiling above that, and the ceiling above that.
[Abacus] But that means we can afford it.
For a week, anyway.
[Lottie] And we’d finally be legitimate.
The police wouldn’t have any excuse
to keep bothering us.
[Noodle] So, what do you think, Willy?
Do you like it?
Do I like it?
Noodle, it’s just as I always imagined.
No, scratch that, it’s better than I imagined.
I mean, look at this place.
I mean, yeah, it’s a wreck, but... the potential!
The bones! - [laughs]
You mark my words, this is gonna be the best chocolate shop
the world has ever seen. - Whoo!
You won’t be scrub-scrubbin’ much longer, Noodle.
- [chuckles] - [Willy] We’ll all be free.
As free as flamingos!
[Noodle chuckles]
[grunts]
[chief] There’s six of them in total.
Including the little girl.
She seems to be the brains of the operation.
They’re based out of a laundry called Scrubitt and Bleacher.
[inhales sharply] Scrubitt’s?
That’s right. Why, you know it?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
[chief] They just rented a shop.
So, legally, I can’t touch them. But illegally,
I’m happy to do whatever you guys want.
You want ’em all to have a little accident?
In which they die?
Not a problem.
But it’s gonna cost you a lot more chocolate.
It’s all right, Chief.
[chief] And also, I’d, uh, be grateful for an advance.
’Cause the last boxes you gave me... [chuckles]
they’re gone.
All of them?
I’ve been eating these little paper cases
for the... for the past three days. [chuckles]
You know, you think they’re gonna give you the same hit.
[laughs] They don’t.
Oh. [breathing heavily]
[Slugworth] There you go, Chief.
There’s plenty more where that came from.
You stand down for now.
We’ll give you a call when the time is right.
[kisses]
[Slugworth grunts]
What is it, Arthur?
[Slugworth] The girl.
[Fickelgruber] You don’t really think it could be her, do you?
I do.
You always assured us she wouldn’t be a problem.
He’s right. You did assure us.
And she won’t be.
Nor will Wonka.
I’ll see to it, personally.
[thunder rumbles]
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Who is it? What d’you want?
[Mrs. Scrubitt gasps]
Mr. Slugworth. [breathes heavily]
Just a minute, sir.
Good evening.
- Good evening. - [Bleacher] Who is it, puffy-wu...
- [cup shatters] - [Bleacher] Stone me.
It’s Mr. Slugworth.
[breath shudders] To what do we owe the honor?
You have a guest. A Mr. Wonka?
He’s been sneaking out to sell chocolate
with the help of your serving girl.
Why, that little brat.
[Slugworth] Well, quite.
I wondered if you might help me put an end to their...
business.
[thunder crashes]
[sighs]
[softly] Here we go, Mamma.
[people chattering]
[Willy, loudly] Ladies and gentlemen, greetings to you all,
and welcome to Wonka’s.
Tremendous things are in store,
both literally and metaphorically.
What?
In there?
Humor me.
♪ Close your eyes And count to ten ♪
♪ Make a wish ♪
♪ Now ♪
♪ Open them ♪
♪ Here’s a store That’s like no other ♪
♪ If it were, I wouldn’t bother ♪
[mid-tempo music tempo plays] - ♪ Chocolate bushes ♪
♪ Chocolate trees ♪
♪ Chocolate flowers And chocolate bees ♪
- [crowd gasps] - ♪ Chocolate memories ♪
♪ That a boy once saved ♪
♪ Before they melted away ♪
♪ A world of your own ♪
♪ A place to escape to ♪
♪ A world of your own ♪
♪ Where you can be free ♪
♪ Wherever you go ♪
♪ Wherever life takes you ♪
♪ This is your home ♪
♪ A world of your own ♪
[excited chatter]
♪ Here is the child ♪
♪ That you left behind ♪
♪ Here is the kid ♪
♪ With the curious mind ♪
♪ Here is the wonder We used to feel ♪
♪ Back when the magic Was real ♪
♪ A world of your own ♪
♪ A place to go when you’re ♪
♪ Feeling alone ♪
♪ Feeling unsure ♪
Mmm!
♪ Embrace the unknown ♪
♪ Enjoy the adventure ♪
♪ Let’s go strolling In the clouds ♪
♪ Grab a handful ♪
♪ It’s allowed ♪
♪ Clouds are made Of cotton candy ♪
♪ Just keep Your umbrella handy ♪
♪ ’Cause there’s A hard rain gonna fall ♪
♪ Humbugs, gumdrops ♪
♪ And aniseed balls ♪
[fireworks whistling] - ♪ Fireworks bring ♪
♪ Sugar string to chew ♪
[woman squeals, laughs]
♪ All the colors Of the rainbow ♪
♪ And some others, too ♪
♪ A world of our own ♪
[female chorus] ♪ A world of our own ♪
- ♪ A place to escape to ♪ - ♪ A place to escape to ♪
- ♪ A world of our own ♪ - ♪ A world of our own ♪
♪ Where we can be free ♪
♪ That’s where we can be free ♪
♪ Wherever you go ♪
♪ Wherever life takes you ♪
♪ This is our home ♪
♪ A world of our own ♪
[music ends]
[Abacus] So, mushrooms, pears, assorted flowers.
That comes to 89 sovereigns.
A bargain at twice the price.
Thank you, sir.
And how would you like your change?
Spendable or edible?
Oh, edible, please.
[register dings]
[Abacus] Enjoy. - [laughs]
And, uh, don’t forget to eat your basket.
Oh.
Abacus, that man just gave us 100 sovereigns.
I know, Noodle! - [both chuckle]
[man] Who’s next?
[woman 1] That’ll be me. [woman 2] Me!
[people arguing]
Uh...
Mr. Wonka?
Yes?
What’s going on here?
Oh, my goodness.
That’s impossible.
Unless...
Yeti sweat?
[Willy] The most powerful hair potion in the world.
But I didn’t put it in there.
Ladies and gentlemen! Your attention, please!
There appears to be a manufacturing error.
Nobody eat the flowers!
Uh, why not?
What’s wrong with them?
[woman] What’s the matter with this toadstool?
My daughter took one bite, and just look at her!
There’s nothing wrong with the chocolate milk,
is there?
I’m terribly sorry, everyone,
and I don’t know how to explain this, but...
it appears that the chocolates have been poisoned!
- Poisoned? - [crowd gasping]
- Poisoned? - He poisoned my child!
I didn’t... I didn’t poison them.
I want my money back.
I want compensation.
I want revenge.
Whoa!
[angry shouting]
No, no! Please!
[woman screams]
This is what you get for mustach-ing my daughter!
[man] I’ll wait for you. [woman] Help! I have to get away from this place.
[people screaming]
[Slugworth] And that, I believe,
is the end of Wonka’s Chocolate Shop.
[Lottie] I don’t understand. What...
What happened?
[Abacus] Isn’t it obvious?
The Chocolate Cartel.
[Noodle sighs]
It’s okay, Willy. We can rebuild.
We can start again.
There’s no point, Noodle.
It didn’t work.
What do you mean?
She promised she would be here.
She wasn’t.
You didn’t actually think that...
[Willy] No, I did.
Stupid dream.
[Noodle] Don’t say that, Willy. Please don’t ever...
[Abacus] Come on, Noodle.
I think Mr. Wonka needs to be alone.
[Mamma] Every good thing in this world started with a dream.
So you hold on to yours.
And when you do share chocolate with the world, oh...
I’ll be right there beside ya.
[Slugworth] Terrible shame, what happened here.
[Willy] Take it you’re responsible?
[Slugworth] Us? Oh, no. Well, not personally.
We may have encouraged Mrs. Scrubitt
to enhance your creations.
[Prodnose] We paid her to poison them.
[Slugworth] Yes, thank you, Gerald. [Prodnose] You’re welcome.
So why have you come?
- To gloat? - Oh, no, Mr. Wonka,
I don’t waste my time with that sort of thing.
We’ve come to offer you a deal.
This is the precise amount you owe Mrs. Scrubitt.
This is for the number cruncher,
the plumber,
the telephonist,
the so-called funny-man,
and this...
is for the girl.
Now, we put in a bit extra for her.
So that she can get a place to live,
clothes, toys...
books.
[Slugworth] Oh, yes, Mr. Wonka.
You could change her life. Change all their lives.
And what would I have to do?
Leave town.
Oh, and, um,
never make chocolate again.
There’s a boat sailing at midnight.
And for their sake, as much as your own,
I hope you’re onboard.
[melancholy music plays]
[Willy] ♪ Sorry, Noodle ♪
♪ I guess I got carried away ♪
♪ Sorry, Noodle ♪
♪ I hope you’ll forgive me One day ♪
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Checking out, are we? [Willy] Yeah.
♪ I just wanted it ♪
♪ To feel the way that it did ♪
♪ When I was a kid ♪
♪ Sorry, Noodle ♪
[Slugworth] Ah, Mr. Wonka.
Your ticket. Uh, one-way.
To the North Pole.
It’s premium economy.
[Prodnose] Yeah, it’s basically economy.
I mean, yeah, you get a little more legroom.
A complimentary packet of peanuts.
Is it worth the extra?
I don’t know. But these guys... [hesitates]
We don’t need to go into detail.
Goodbye,
Mr. Wonka.
[bones crunching] - [groans softly]
[exhales sharply]
[huffs]
[Willy] Thank you.
[flute plays lilting tune]
[Oompa Loompa music plays]
♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-dee ♪
♪ I’m not in premium economy ♪
♪ I’d go first class If I were you ♪
♪ That’s what Oompa Loompas ♪
♪ Doompety-do!♪
[music ends] - [chuckles]
So glad you’re here.
Oh, I’m not going to let you out of my sight, Willy Wonka.
Not till you’ve paid your debt.
But I bring glad tidings on that score.
What’s that?
I’ve been doing my sums.
One more jar, and we’re even.
Or, if you prefer, I will accept half a jar
of those rather amusing Hoverchocs.
- [ice rattling] - You’re outta luck.
I don’t make chocolate anymore.
Oh, dear, please don’t tell me you’re going to go through with this ridiculous deal?
I have to.
For Noodle.
I promised her a better life.
I pinkie promised.
You should stand up to those bullies.
Give ’em the old one-two.
That’s what an Oompa Loompa would do.
[exhales]
But if you are determined
to just sit there feeling sorry for yourself,
I am going flat.
Good night, sir.
[chair whirring]
[Willy] Huh.
[chair whirring]
[inhales] What is it?
No, nothing.
Well, it’s obviously something because you said, "Huh."
I’m sorry. Forget it.
- Very well. - [chair whirring]
Huh.
Oh, you did it again. - [chair whirring]
Tell me what it is, or I shall poke you
quite viciously with a cocktail stick.
Look. Where Slugworth shook my hand.
His ring left a mark. See?
It’s an "A," surrounded by "S"s.
So what? His name is Arthur Slugworth.
It’s probably a family ring.
Yes, but Noodle has one just like it.
- Noodle? - Uh-huh.
Why would Noodle the orphan have a Slugworth family ring?
There’s only one reason I can think of.
Which is?
And if I’m correct, Noodle could be in grave danger.
Well, come on, Wonka. Spit it out.
Produce your owl pellet of wisdom.
There’s no time. I gotta get back.
Captain! - Wonka?
Come back here. Wonka! I demand an explanation.
Captain?
On second thoughts, the explanation can wait.
Good day to you.
[water splashes]
[chief] Well, gentlemen,
one dead chocolatier, as requested.
Miss Bon-Bon?
[Miss Bon-Bon] Yes, Mr. Slugworth?
Give the chief his chocolate.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] My, my.
What a lot o’ long faces this morning.
It’s almost as though you lot had a sneaky little scheme
to try and wriggle out of your contracts.
Which spectacularly misfired. - [Bleacher grunts, chuckles]
But I’ve got some good news for you lot,
not that you deserve it.
Your friend, Mr. Wonka, done a deal with Mr. Slugworth.
What?
Gave up on his dream to settle your accounts.
Mr. Crunch. - Present.
You’re free to go.
Scram, bookworm.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Bell. [Lottie] Hello.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Sling yer hook.
Benz.
You ain’t gotta tell me twice. [chuckles]
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Chucklesworth.
You’ve been a terrible audience.
Good night!
Yeah, well, you ain’t been much of a comedian, mate.
[Larry] I know. - Hey, Larry.
Keep going. You’ve got something.
You scare me.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] And finally, Noodle.
Biggest pile o’ the lot.
But this isn’t to pay your bill.
This is to keep you here. - [door shuts]
What do you mean? - [door locks]
[Mrs. Scrubitt] My friend, Mr. Slugworth,
doesn’t think nasty little urchins like you
should be out on the streets,
lowering the tone.
So, he gave me this money
to keep you down in the Wash House for good.
And I’m only too happy to oblige.
- I hate you! - [Bleacher] Hey!
- Hey, hey, hey. - [Mrs. Scrubitt laughs]
Look at her go, Lord Bleachowitz.
- [both laugh] - Lord Bleachowitz?
You don’t still think he’s a lord, do you?
What?
We made it up, you stupid old hag.
[Bleacher] She’s... she’s lying.
Right, that’s it, you horrible little brat.
You’re goin’ in the coop, my girl.
And you! Take them dungarees off,
you... you peasant. [sobs]
But Puffy-wuffy.
I wuv you.
[Noodle gasps]
- [lock clicks] - [breathing heavily]
[wings fluttering]
[cooing]
[thud]
[footsteps approaching]
Hello, Noodle.
[gasps] Willy. I thought you’d gone.
I did.
Slugworth promised you a better life,
but he didn’t exactly keep his side of the bargain.
So I came back. We all did.
[Piper] Hey, Noodle. [Abacus] How do?
[Lottie] Hey. [Larry gurgling] Surprise!
[Noodle] He wants me locked up forever.
Yeah, well, that figures.
Why? What’s he got against me?
I don’t know, Noodle. Not for sure.
All I know for certain is that you won’t be safe until Slugworth
- is behind bars. - [footsteps approaching]
And how exactly is that supposed to happen?
Abacus. You said the Cartel keep
a record of all their dirty deeds.
In the green ledger, yes.
[Willy] So if we can get hold o’ that,
we can prove that they poisoned our chocolate.
Scrubitt and Bleacher would go to jail,
and we’ll all be free.
Uh, yes, but may I remind you,
they keep that ledger in a vault.
Guarded by a corrupt cleric.
And 500 chocoholic monks.
- [group] Mm-hmm. - That’s all true.
But I went for a long, cold swim this morning.
Cold water is very good for the brain.
Stimulates the neural pathways.
And after just four miles, it came to me.
How an ingenious orphan,
an accountant, a plumber,
a telephone exchange operator,
and a man who can speak underwater,
could combine those talents,
and pull off the heist of the century.
But even if we do get our hands on that ledger,
the Cartel will simply bribe their way out of trouble.
It’s what they do. - [sighs]
[Noodle] The greedy beat the needy, Willy.
It’s just the way of the world.
[Willy] You’re right, Noodle.
I guess that’s why there’s one other thing to do.
- What’s that? - [softly] Change the world.
[Piper] Whoa!
[chuckles]
Where do we start?
[bell tolling]
[knocks rhythmically]
[in English accent] ’Scuse me, sir.
Could you spare a piece of chocolate for a starvin’ orphan?
I’m sorry, my child. I don’t have any on me.
[Noodle] Oh.
[whispers] Then have some acacia mints.
Yes!
[door creaking]
[Basil] "To Basil Bond, employee of the week."
[munches] Oh, that’s lovely...
[groans drowsily]
[snoring]
Everything all right back there?
Everything’s fine. Isn’t it, Abigail?
[snorts]
Tell her she might want to duck.
[Willy] Tell her she might wanna what?
[Abacus] Duck!
[snorts]
[Father Julius] Good morning, brethren.
[monks chant] Good morning, Father.
[Father Julius] Now, as you all know,
it’s Baron von Schmeichelhammer’s funeral today.
And his widow is...
a bit of a pious type. - [monks] Ugh!
[Father Julius] So, I don’t want to see anyone
eating chocolate during the service.
[monks chant] Yes, Father.
We all know that one day,
we shall be judged for our sins,
but it’s not going to be today.
[monks chant] Amen.
[bell tolls]
[Abigail snorting]
[continues snorting]
[Father Julius] There, there.
Nice giraffe.
- Run! Everybody out! - [monks singing] ♪ Giraffe ♪
- [monk 1] Run! - [monk 2] The beast!
- [Father Julius] Save yourselves! - [monks] ♪ Giraffe ♪
- [monk 3] Get out! - [monks] ♪ It’s a giraffe ♪
Judgement has come! - [monks] ♪ Giraffe’s a giraffe ♪
[monk 4] Run off! Quickly!
- In a most unexpected form. - [monks] ♪ Got a giraffe ♪
[monks] ♪You’re having a laugh ♪ - Run away!
♪ I know it’s a giraffe, Giraffe, giraffe ♪
What have I done to deserve this?
You know what you’ve done, Julius.
You’ve sold your soul for 30 pieces of chocolate.
- [phones ringing] - [indistinct talking]
Hello, operator. How may I direct your call?
[Father Julius] I need the Zoo. It’s an emergency.
Putting you through to the Escaped Animal Department now.
[ringing]
Hello, Zoo.
[all mimicking animals’ cries]
Quiet down, you animals.
[gurgling] You too, octopus.
- [Father Julius] There’s a giraffe. - What? Oh, yeah, I think
we did lose a giraffe. - [mimicries continue]
Well, could you come and get it?
Okay, jeez. I’ll send the guys around.
[sighs]
[sniffing]
[yelps]
Oh, forgive me!
I’m a sinner!
A weak and wicked chocoholic!
[organ music plays]
Good morning, everyone.
[Father Julius] Welcome to St. Benedict’s. - [sighs]
Baroness, I’m so sorry for your loss.
We’re just having a few technical difficulties, um,
so you might want to pop
the late baron down for a minute.
[tires screech]
Ah, the cavalry.
Are you the cleric who called about a giraffe?
[Abacus] All clear.
[elevator dings]
[wheels squeak]
Huh. "Thanks for all your hard work."
"Father Julius and the Chocolate Cartel."
Oh, that’s nice.
Mmm.
[Abacus] Here we are, Father. - [indistinct chatter]
- One giraffe. - [all applauding]
[Father Julius] Marvelous. [Abacus] Thank you, thank you.
Stand back, please. Stand back.
♪ Have I got A sweet tooth? Pow! I do ♪
[scatting]
[Willy whispering] Wow.
[Gwennie] ♪ Have I got a sweet tooth...♪
[Willy whispering] She can really move.
[Gwennie] I could’ve been happy, but I threw a pearl away.
I’ll give him a call. No, I can’t.
I will give him a call actually.
[telephone rings] - [yelps]
Hello?
Basil? It’s Gwennie.
You were right.
[Noodle] What are the chances?
Those days in chemistry class were the happiest of my life.
[Gwennie sobs] - [groans]
[Noodle grunts]
Cool.
[flamingos honking]
[car horn honking]
[man] Sorry about this, sir.
The seafood truck spilled its load.
There’s so many blasted flamingos about these days.
[Slugworth] Well, hurry it along now, will you?
[man on radio] The town square was closed this morning
after a bizarre incident at the city cathedral.
Delaying the funeral of noted philanthropist,
Baron von Schmeichelhammer.
[Father Julius] In nomine Patris,
et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.
Amen.
[telephone ringing]
Sorry, I’d best get that. [chuckles]
[growls quietly]
- Hello, pulpit? - [Slugworth] Father.
Everything all right there?
[Father Julius] Oh, yes, Mr. Slugworth.
All tickety-boo.
At least, it is now.
- [Father Julius chuckles] - What do you mean by that?
Oh, we had a giraffe in here earlier.
Had to clear the whole place for about 20 minutes,
but everything’s back to normal.
Hello?
Damn the flamingos, Donovan! Floor it!
Yes, sir!
[flamingos honking]
[officer] Idiot!
[breathing heavily]
Anything? - Nothing.
Well, keep looking.
[Noodle] It’s not in here, Willy.
[Willy] But Abacus said that it was here.
[Noodle] Abacus has been in the Wash House for the past four years.
Maybe all the scrubbing has gone to his head.
’Cause all that’s down here is just a bunch of stupid old chocolate.
[gasps]
Willy, look!
We did it, Noodle.
- We got ’em. - [Noodle chuckles]
[gunshot]
[Slugworth] Naughty, naughty, Mr. Wonka.
You’ve caused us quite a bit of trouble.
You and your urchin.
Yeah, but she’s not just an urchin,
is she, Mr. Slugworth?
[gasps]
You’re family.
[Noodle] What?
What are you talking about, Willy?
You know that ring, Noodle?
The one your parents gave you?
Mr. Slugworth has one just like it.
Don’t you, Mr. Slugworth?
As a matter of fact, I do.
That belonged to my brother. Zebedee.
Was he my father?
A hopeless romantic is what he was.
Fell in love with a common little bookworm,
died before they could marry.
Leaving me sole heir to the family fortune.
Or so I thought.
But nine months later,
your mother turned up on my doorstep,
begging me to get a doctor for her sick little newborn.
I said I would help.
[Noodle] But you didn’t. Did you?
[Slugworth] Oh, no.
[Noodle] Instead, you put me down a laundry chute.
[Slugworth] Bye-bye, baby.
[Noodle] Mrs. Scrubitt found me.
She saw the ring.
Thought it was an "N," and called me Noodle.
But it wasn’t.
It was "Z." For Zebedee.
[Slugworth] Well, quite.
When your mother returned, I told her you had died. - [sobbing] Oh, no!
[Slugworth] She was heartbroken, of course.
But, uh, I gave her a handful of sovereigns
and had her escorted from my property.
What was her name?
Eh?
My mom. What was her name?
Ooh.
Let me see. Um...
No, I don’t think I could remember that.
[chuckling] Sorry. But you have to understand,
she was very poor.
[Fickelgruber gags] - Sorry, Felix.
[Willy] Her name was Dorothy.
Dorothy Smith. It says so right here.
Dorothy? [chuckles]
[Willy] Well, what do you know?
I guess you did teach me to read after all.
[chuckles]
[Slugworth] Well, this is all very touching,
but back to business.
We’ll take that, thank you.
How much chocolate do you have at your factory, Mr. Fickelgruber?
Oh, about 80,000 gallons.
- Prodnose? - [mumbles]
[Prodnose] Seventy-five?
[Slugworth] And I’ve got 150.
That should be enough.
For what?
Death by chocolate.
[lights buzz]
[chocolate bubbles]
On you go.
Uh, gentlemen.
Considering the situation,
I wondered if you’d do a good deed on my behalf.
A what?
"A good deed."
It’s a sort of pointless act of selflessness...
Yes, of course, Mr. Wonka.
What would you like us to do?
I was wondering if you could give this to someone.
Only if you happen to see him.
And who is it?
A little orange man. - Eh?
A little orange man.
About eight inches high,
with orange skin and bright green hair.
I owe him a jar of chocolates, you see. And, well,
I think these might be the best I ever made.
Well, in that case,
I’ll make sure he gets them personally.
Farewell, Mr. Wonka.
Urchin.
[whirring]
- [heavy thudding] - [Noodle gasps] Willy...
[handles squeaking]
[chocolate gurgling]
What are we gonna do, Willy?
I don’t know, Noodle. I’ll think of something.
[elevator dings]
Best chocolate he ever made, eh?
[Prodnose chuckling excitedly]
Whoo-hoo. - Oh!
[chocolate bubbling]
[Willy] I got it!
[Noodle] What is it? Did you think of something?
[Willy] Yes, I did.
If we’re gonna drown in chocolate, Noodle,
and let’s face it, we’re gonna drown in chocolate,
then it’s gonna be Wonka chocolate.
We’re not gonna drown, Willy. Look, there’s a light.
We’ll let the chocolate lift us up,
we’ll bang on the glass,
and pray somebody hears us.
That’s a much better idea.
[elevator dings]
Ah, gentlemen.
It was a bit of a close shave this morning,
and I was wondering if perhaps
we could rethink our arrangement. Or...
Or... just leave things as they are.
[Slugworth] Father.
Well, Wonka might be as nutty as a fruitcake,
but he sure knew how to make chocolate.
[Father Julius] Mmm. - But do you think
we should have saved some for the Little Orange Man?
Tell me you’re joking.
Uh, yes. Yes, I am. Sorry, why am I?
[Slugworth] Because there’s no such thing
as a little orange man, ya nincompoop.
[Willy grunting]
[Willy] Help! [Noodle] Help!
[Willy] Somebody help, please!
Please help! - Help!
Look. Look, somebody’s coming. Look.
Willy, we’re saved!
[Noodle panting]
I’m sorry, Noodle. - Don’t be.
You found my family.
A mom who loved me.
That’s all I ever wanted.
Deep breath now.
[both inhale deeply]
[Father Julius] Mmm! Exquisite.
You mustn’t let yourself get so worked up.
It’s just a bit of chocolate.
- [door opens] - [Oompa Loompa] Correction.
It was actually my chocolate.
[elevator dings]
You have made a very grave error, gentlemen.
You steal from an Oompa Loompa,
we take back
a thousandfold.
- [chocolate draining] - [both gasping for air]
What’s going on, Willy?
It’s draining, Noodle.
We’ve been saved!
- By who? - I don’t know.
By the Little Orange Man! [chuckling]
- Look. - Wh...
[Willy] The Little Orange Man!
[screaming] Thank you, Little Orange Man! Thank you!
- [Willy cheering] - [Noodle squealing]
[both cheering]
[siren ringing]
[brakes screech]
Gentlemen. Thank goodness you’re okay.
I came as fast as I could.
[chief grunting]
Whew! Car shrunk.
[Slugworth] I’m sure it did.
And you’ve nothing to worry about, Chief.
All under control.
A couple of thieves broke in, but I’m afraid
they met with a little... accident.
In which they died.
[Prodnose chuckling]
[chuckling] That’s actually rather good, Gerald.
[Willy] I wouldn’t be so sure about that.
Officer, would you kindly take a look at this?
Wonka!
[Noodle] It details every single illegal payment
these men have ever made.
Thousands of them.
[scoffs] Affable, don’t listen to her. She’s lyin’.
Well, of course she is. [chuckles nervously]
[Affable] She’s not, sir.
She’s absolutely right.
It’s incredible.
Oh. Well.
Then that sounds like a case
for the Chief of Police. [chuckles]
So you give it to me, Affable, I’ll, uh... I’ll take it off your hands.
You know, save you the paperwork.
I can’t do that, I’m afraid, sir.
[chuckles] Why’s that?
Because your name is written down here.
Huh?
- A lot. - Gentlemen...
- [Affable] You’re under arrest. - [Slugworth] Run.
[chief] We puttin’ handcuffs on, here?
- [gasps] - That’s okay, Noodle.
Give it one second.
[Cartel exclaiming]
[Prodnose] What’s happening?
Why are we airborne?
[Willy] You didn’t eat any of those chocolates,
did you, Mr. Slugworth? - Why?
[Willy] Because they’re Hoverchocs.
Delayed action, but extra strong.
[Slugworth] You think you’re very clever, don’t you, Wonka?
Well, there’s a billion sovereigns of chocolate beneath our feet.
We’ll get the best lawyers,
bribe the judge, rig the jury if we have to.
We’ll be fine.
I wish I’d thought of that.
Hey, Noodle!
[metal banging]
[handles squeaking]
- [ground rumbling] - [crowd exclaiming]
[all yell]
[Prodnose] What is that?
[Slugworth crying] It’s our chocolate!
[Fickelgruber] All our chocolate!
[Prodnose] We’re ruined!
[Willy] Hey, don’t worry, gentlemen.
You’ll come down eventually.
Probably. I think.
But until then,
ladies and gentlemen,
Willy Wonka and friends... - [laughing]
...invite you to enjoy our chocolate.
[woman] Yay! Magic Wonka! - [Basil chuckling]
Gwennie?
Basil! [chuckles]
[Willy] What did I say, Abacus,
I told you we could fix it all.
[indistinct chatter]
Your cup.
Thank you.
- There you are. - [Lottie] There you go.
Careful, not too much. - [chuckles]
Okay.
[inhales deeply]
[kisses, blows]
[chuckles softly]
[kisses, blows]
[chuckling]
[gasps]
[both chuckle]
[Noodle] Mmm. [chuckles] - Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
[Abacus] Mmm. [Piper] Thank you.
Mmm. [chuckles] - [Willy] Oh.
Huh.
[Noodle] So... how does it feel, Willy?
Is it as good as you remember?
Every little bit.
[chuckles]
I wish it could last forever.
[chuckles]
- [pigeon cooing] - [clock strikes]
I guess it’s time.
Time for what?
Do you know how many people in this city are named D. Smith?
106.
And luckily, you have a friend who works at the telephone exchange.
And she spent the entire afternoon
ringing around.
And guess what?
We found her.
You found my mom?
[Abacus] She works in the library.
That’s where she lives.
[Willy] Come on, Noodle.
[clock chimes]
♪ Come with me ♪
♪ And you’ll be ♪
♪ In a world ♪
♪ Of pure imagination ♪
♪ Reach out, touch ♪
♪ What was once ♪
♪ Just in your imagination ♪
♪ Don’t be shy ♪
♪ It’s all right ♪
♪ If you feel A little trepidation ♪
♪ Sometimes These things don’t ♪
♪ Need explanation ♪
♪ If you want To view paradise ♪
♪ Simply look at them And view it ♪
♪ Somebody to hold on to ♪
♪ It’s all we really need ♪
[Dorothy chuckles]
♪ Nothing else to it ♪
- Mom. - [chuckles, sniffles]
[Oompa Loompa] So goes a good deed
in a weary world.
[Willy] I was wondering if I’d see you again.
I’m not going anywhere, Willy Wonka.
Not until you’ve paid your debt.
Now, I know you tried.
Loompa law is very clear on this subject.
Until such time
as the chocolate is physically in my hand...
Oh. Thank you.
Thank you. For saving my life.
[inhales]
Well, I suppose that concludes our business.
I will now return to my beloved Loompaland.
Where the cocoa beans grow in disappointingly small numbers,
and my friends look down on me.
What? I thought they called you Lofty.
The truth is that I am a quarter-inch
below average.
They call me Shorty-pants.
- [chuckles] - But there it is.
Good day to you, sir.
Uh, it’s a shame you have to go.
I said good day.
If I’m gonna share my chocolate with the world,
I’m gonna need more than a shop.
I’m sure you will.
I’m gonna need a factory.
[chuckles] Yeah, well, good luck with that.
And someone to head up the tasting department.
The tasting department?
[bright music playing] - ♪ Come with me ♪
All right.
♪ And you’ll be ♪ - Where?
[Willy] ♪ In a world Of pure imagination ♪
[Oompa Loompa] It’s a ruined castle.
[Willy] ♪ Take a look ♪
♪ And you’ll see ♪
♪ Into your imagination ♪
[Oompa Loompa] Frankly, I rather doubt it.
[chuckles] ♪ We’ll begin with a spin ♪
♪ Traveling in the world Of my creation ♪
♪ What we’ll see ♪
♪ Will defy explanation ♪
Well, that does defy explanation.
♪ If you want To view paradise ♪
♪ Simply look around And view it ♪
♪ Anything you want You do it ♪
♪ Wanna change the world? There’s nothing to it ♪
Not bad.
♪ There is no life I know ♪
♪ To compare With pure imagination ♪
♪ Living there, You’ll be free ♪
♪ If you truly ♪
♪ Wish to be ♪
[music ends]
[flute plays lilting tune]
[Oompa Loompa music playing]
♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-do ♪
♪ I’ve got a little Bonus for you ♪
♪ Sit back down And stay in your seat ♪
♪ For a last Oompa Loompa-ish treat ♪
♪ Abacus Crunch Returned to his home ♪
♪ Benz to her friends ♪
♪ Lottie Bell to her phones ♪
♪ Brave Larry made A triumphant comeback ♪
♪ One day his ex-wife ♪
♪ Saw the act ♪
♪ Laughed a lot And took him back ♪
♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-day ♪
♪ But what of Mrs. Scrubitt And Bleacher, you say? ♪
♪ Give me Just a moment or two ♪
♪ And I’ll Oompa Loompa Show it to you ♪
Oh. What is wrong with this thing?
Infernal machine. [grunts]
♪ I’ll show it to you ♪
- [music ends] - There. Much better.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] Shoes, facelift, nose job, Ibiza,
big old house in the country, lingerie.
It’s the Cartel. They’ve gone down.
We ain’t done nothin’. - [door closes]
Oh, except poison all them chocolates.
- [knock at door] - [Affable] Police. Open up.
Quick! Drink the evidence.
[knock at door]
Oh, just a second, Officer.
- [knock at door] - [Affable] Police.
[Mrs. Scrubitt] I’m on the toilet, Officer.
Open up.
One wipe, and I’m done. - [knock at door]
Oh, there’s more coming, hang on a minute.
Right.
Wow.
[pants] How can we help you, Officer? [snorts]
You two are coming with me.
[Bleacher] But we ain’t done nothin’.
You’re going away for a very long time.
[Mrs. Scrubitt sobs] One last kiss, my Lord?
Oh, puffy-wuffy. - [sobs]
[both moaning]
[both grunt]
[Mrs. Scrubitt sobs loudly]
[magical music plays]
[Willy] ♪ Close your eyes ♪
♪ And count to ten ♪
♪ Make a wish ♪
- ♪ Now ♪ - [snaps fingers]
♪ Open them ♪
♪ Here’s a store That’s like no other ♪
♪ If it were, I wouldn’t bother ♪
[mid-tempo music tempo plays] - ♪ Chocolate bushes ♪
♪ Chocolate trees ♪
♪ Chocolate flowers And chocolate bees ♪
♪ Chocolate memories ♪
♪ That a boy once saved ♪
♪ Before they melted away ♪
♪ A world of your own ♪
♪ A place to escape to ♪
♪ A world of your own ♪
♪ Where you can be free ♪
♪ Wherever you go ♪
♪ Wherever life takes you ♪
♪ This is your home ♪
♪ A world of your own ♪
♪ Here is the child That you left behind ♪
♪ Here is the kid With the curious mind ♪
♪ Here is the wonder We used to feel ♪
♪ Back when The magic was real ♪
♪ A world of your own ♪
♪ A place to go when you’re ♪
♪ Feeling alone ♪
♪ Feeling unsure ♪
♪ Embrace the unknown ♪
♪ Enjoy the adventure ♪
♪ Let’s go strolling In the clouds ♪
♪ Grab a handful, It’s allowed ♪
♪ Clouds are made Of cotton candy ♪
♪ Just keep Your umbrella handy ♪
♪ ’Cause there’s A hard rain gonna fall ♪
♪ Humbugs, gumdrops And aniseed balls ♪
♪ Fireworks bring ♪
♪ Sugar string to chew ♪
♪ All the colors Of the rainbow ♪
♪ And some others, too ♪
- ♪ A world of our own ♪ - ♪ A world of our own ♪
- ♪ A place to escape to ♪ - ♪ A place to escape to ♪
- ♪ A world of our own ♪ - ♪ A world of our own ♪
♪ Where we can be free ♪ - ♪ That’s where We can be free ♪
- ♪ Wherever you go ♪ - ♪ Wherever you go ♪
- ♪ Wherever life takes you ♪ - ♪ Wherever life takes you ♪
♪ This is our home ♪
♪ A world of our own ♪
在海上漂泊七年
是時候與七大洋告別
我期待了七年的城市
就在那地平線前
港口鐘聲彷彿已聽見
有陸地了!
《旺卡》
穿上破舊大衣、拿著殘舊皮箱
再見,大廚
腳上穿上滲水皮靴
對不起,大廚!
拖著疲憊身軀
拽著鞋帶往前去
我得拼命工作
才能維持生計
我為朱古力傾註所有心血
是時候將食譜向全世界展示
祝你好運,威利!
我有十二個索維林銀幣
在口袋裡
再見,大廚!
還有一帽子的夢想
這裡每條街都有著名餐廳
布迪諾餐館和巴黎酒吧在眼前
- 餐廳指南? - 謝謝
買張小地圖介紹用餐好去處
(美食薈)
銀幣本有十二個
現在卻衹剩十個
想要最好的農產品? 這裡有齊心水農作物
三個銀幣,先生
可是價格卻高得可疑
跌爛我的南瓜當然要賠
我有...
五、六、七...
六個銀幣在口袋
還有一帽子的夢想
- 幫你刷刷外套? - 不用,謝謝
- 古龍水? - 不要,別煩我
(美食薈)
終於...
來到美食薈
(屎撈涕特製朱古力)
我早知有一天會親眼看到
(頂級朱古力 肥膏吉巴)
一切如你所說,媽媽
(肥膏吉巴)
而且精彩得多
每轉個彎,就有一間朱古力名店
我的命運在此
就待計劃開展
(旺卡)
我會一敗塗地?
還是像火箭起飛?
(旺卡)
我身無長物
衹剩下朱古力幾粒
還有一帽子的...
夢想
好極!
(旺卡盛大開張)
不准發白日夢
(出租 發白日夢罰三銀幣)
在這個任何人都能成功的城市
別人說衹要有才華、肯努力 就能做一番大事
但他們沒提過生活如此迫人
辛苦賺了十二個銀幣
僅夠支撐一日
好心施捨一個銀幣讓我安頓一晚?
沒問題
給你,要多少自己拿
謝謝
我有一個銀幣在口袋
還有一帽子的夢想
好了
是時候睡前喝一杯
好了
你好...停啊!走開!
走開!停啊!
走啊!走!走!
停!
坐!
抱歉小豬嚇到你
牠似乎對你對腳有不尋常的興趣
定是因為這條褲
我在明斯克跟一個郵差買的
那一定是了
小豬會花一整天追著郵差
是嗎,乖仔?
你不是打算在這睡吧,少年仔?
衹睡一晚罷了
到明天這時候,我應該已賺大錢
到明天這時候,你早就凍僵了
別開玩笑了
今晚露營或的確太凍
可惜我不夠錢租房,先生
那我眞遺憾
但幸運的是...
我認識一個人或可幫到你
眞的?
到了,旺卡先生...溫馨的家
你的髒爪子別碰我前門,癩皮狗
如果是你,阿白 你最好幫我買了氈酒
我有比氈酒更好的東西,潔太太
一位客人
你為何不早說?
進來吧,先生
歡迎光臨潔白賓館及洗衣店
就當是自己的家,在爐火前暖暖身
要氈酒嗎?
露德!
是,潔太太?
放下書,為客人倒杯氈酒
這可憐人快凍死了
謝謝,潔太太 你和你丈夫對我眞客氣
丈夫?
他?
丈夫
你就想,對吧?
不
我在等一個 比那懶鬼老粗更優秀的人
乾杯
這酒非常烈
對,當汽油也行
你需要甚麼?一間房?
是的,不過...
旺卡先生暫時...有點拮据
眞慘,不是吧
恐怕是眞的,潔太太
不過...一切很快會改變
- 是嗎? - 聽著
我算是個魔術師
發明家和朱古力匠
明天一早,我打算去美食薈推出
我迄今為止最令人驚嘆的作品
準備大吃一驚吧,我來介紹...
一個茶壺?
不,那衹是用來沖茶
等等
我燉菜用的
定是在裡面某處
放心,旺卡先生 我看得出你很有才華
我們正好有你所需
創業套餐
房租每晚一銀幣
但明晚六點才付
這夠時間讓你賺錢嗎?
非常足夠了,潔太太
感謝你
我衹是幫忙有需要的陌生人罷了
在這裡簽個名就行
好吧
看細則
甚麼?
謝謝你,露德,回去!
她剛才說甚麼?
- 誰? - 那女孩
- 甚麼女孩? - 那女孩,聽來像...
「看細則」,而且似乎...
(條款及細則)
拉極都有
別聽露德說,她有點問題
有問題?
孤兒綜合症
孤兒綜合症?
孤兒綜合症
她被丟進洗衣槽
她那時還是嬰孩,我好心収留了她
我已盡我所能,旺卡先生,眞的
但她生性多疑
看任何事都說有陰謀
可憐的女孩
就是嘛
這些衹是標準條款
但你想看的話隨便
我就快看一眼
看來一切很合理
眞的?
你好
那歡迎入住潔白賓館
(來過夜吧,永遠留下!)
你的房間,旺卡先生
創業套房
你的四柱床、水槽、肥皂
枕頭上有薄荷糖
眞棒
眞好人
露德!
露德啊!
是,潔太太?
我四處找你
你想要甚麼?
我要教訓你,可悲的小書蟲
- 我做錯甚麼? - 你心知肚明,死妹釘
- 別掙扎了! - 甚麼?不,求求你
你再搞砸我的生意
就把你關在這一星期,明白?
知道,潔太太 對不起,潔太太
你知驚就好
(旺卡)
開始吧,媽媽
美食薈的各位先生女士
我叫威利旺卡
我來為大家介紹一款奇妙美食
非凡的甜點
無與倫比的美味
世上前所未見
所以安靜細心聽
不...刪走,倒帶
我來介紹...飄浮朱古力
在孟買附近的叢林
有隻小小食蚜蠅
絕無花假,牠以每秒一千次拍翼
這些微小蟲子
喜歡朱古力更勝葉片
經我客氣請求 同意產卵在每粒朱古力裡面
當牠破繭而飛
(大鼻 精品朱古力)
(肥膏吉巴 頂級朱古力)
歡快叫聲響起
誕生在朱古力酒店太高興
牠快樂拍著翅膀,各位街坊請看
朱古力會昇起
優雅地飄浮
朱古力很普遍
朱古力很常見
但衹有旺卡朱古力令各位嘆為觀止
快拿出錢包 買幾粒旺卡朱古力試試
快來吧
我堅持
這種朱古力你前所未見
眞的,這種朱古力你前所未見
厲害!
多謝各位
邦邦小姐?
是,屎撈涕先生
報警
好的,先生
- 誰想試一粒? - 我,求求你!
我試
屎撈涕先生
不好意思
肥膏吉巴先生
大鼻先生
我很榮幸
自我小時候...
你握手眞用力
這是商務握手,旺卡先生
表示我為人認眞
來吧
讓我試一粒所謂的飄浮朱古力
不衹是朱古力,對吧?
有...
- 棉花糖 - 沒錯
材料來自秘魯錦葵沼澤
還有焦糖
但有點...
鹹
來自俄羅斯小丑苦中帶甜的淚水
而且還有...
不可能吧?
車厘子?
由車厘子採摘工精選
來自皇家花園
很好,旺卡先生
我在這一行很久了
我敢說我吃過那麼多朱古力
這一款毫無疑問是...
百分百最難吃的
聽到了吧,各位
他讚賞我的...
等等,最難吃?
我們三個是競爭激烈的對手
而我們都同意一件事
一粒好的朱古力
應該簡單、平實、不複雜
而這一款
過於花巧
眞的很...
奇怪
眞可惜
若你們覺得這朱古力很奇怪
定會討厭接著發生的事
怎麼回事?
- 怎麼了? - 是因為食蚜蠅
牠破繭而出,在瘋狂拍翼
我的頭髮!你指是一隻蒼蠅做的?
是,但放心
- 牠完全無害 - 謝謝
廿分鐘後 牠就會疲倦,從你屁股飛出來
甚麼?
他指我們會放屁噴牠出來!
我明他的意思!
你簡直是瘋子,旺卡!
哪有正常人...
想要吃了會飛的朱古力?
我們問問看?
誰要飄浮朱古力?
我想要一粒!
承惠一個銀幣,謝謝
多謝
一個銀幣
謝謝,太太...享受你的飛行
走開,細路
好了,各位,這裡沒甚麼好看
衹不過是一小群人 違反萬有引力定律
- 是啊 - 鉤他們下來
飄浮朱古力就是要飄浮
可惜有人投訴你,先生
投訴?
投訴你擾亂其他商戶做生意
我很遺憾要驅趕你
並沒収你的収入
嘿!你做甚麼?
- 放心,會用來做善事 - 不!放開!
捐給病童之類
對不起,先生,規矩就是規矩
你這百厭星,過來!
至少留一個銀幣給我?
我要付房租
給你
謝謝
晚上好,旺卡先生
生意如何?
沒想像中順利
眞可惜,但恐怕你要付房租了
幸好夠錢付
說好一個銀幣
房租是的
但你享用了額外服務
就在你留宿時
我有嗎?
有,你有
你剛到達時那杯氈酒
若我沒記錯
你還用了爐火取暖
他有,潔太太
取暖要収費
還用了樓梯上房
那要付樓梯費
每級計算,上落分開収費
告訴我,旺卡先生
你有用過迷你皂?
迷你間?
迷你肥皂
水槽旁邊
好像有,就幾下
看?連阿白都知道
絕不要碰迷你肥皂,他還是粗人呢
加上你租用床褥 借用床單、枕頭罰款
你要付...
一萬個銀幣
你講笑吧?
細則全都有寫,親愛的
我沒一萬個銀幣
那就麻煩大了,旺卡先生
你要在洗衣場做工抵債
一個銀幣一天
一萬天即是...
廿七年
- 嘿! - 零四個月
再加十六日
你一定是旺卡先生
你是誰?
阿伯克斯昆茲,註冊會計師
曾經是
現在...
他管理這地方
你最好照他說話做,否則我教訓你
派帕賓斯
現職水管工
這是樂迪貝爾小姐
嗨
她不太說話
而我是拉里卓高樂!
喜劇演員
你們也被騙了?
恐怕是了
我們都需要找便宜住宿
並忽略了附屬細則
一刻的愚蠢,換來無盡的後悔
聽似我的第三段婚姻
對不起,我經常開玩笑
- 的確是 - 經常
我衹結過一次婚
可惜無法維持
一定有辦法出去的
你以為我們沒試過?
窗戶有鐵柵
門口有惡狗
就算你出到去
那合約條款滴水不漏
若點名時你不在,潔太太會報警
警察會捉你回來
她再加収你一千元不便費
好了,大家回去開工 跟我來,旺卡先生
你跟我來
你負責這裡,洗滌區
首先拿起衣服
把它丟進水桶
刷、刷
然後拿到擰乾機、轉動巨型手柄
刷、刷
再把它掛高高、直至快要晾曬好
刷、刷
但當我們歌唱 便不覺一天太漫長
刷、刷
雖然仍是很漫長
要燙平所有摺痕
不論襯衣或長裙
擦、擦
要依他們的摺法,否則會被苛責
更要捱餓一晚
我們都在虛線簽了名 必須抵債衹好認命
刷、刷
若你們不同意
請看第五條
第七A節
第廿二段
D部份
那裡寫著...
刷、刷
送餐服務
早叫過你要看細則
對我來說有點難
你不識字,對吧?
我的學習重心幾乎都在朱古力上
原來如此
而其他事,我都靠好心的陌生人幫忙
所以看你的下場
員工宿舍
至少你有張床
你曾經有張床
有書桌、鋅盆兼廁所
自來水有...
兩種溫度,凍...
和更凍
你欠他們多少錢?
一萬
你已很幸運,我欠三萬
甚麼?你怎會欠他們錢?
他們不是在洗衣槽找到你嗎?
是,出於好心収留了我
然後収我服務費
那對惡魔
貪婪的人總是打敗窮人,旺卡先生
這世界就是這樣的
別這樣,露德
你是孤兒綜合症發作才這樣說
我的甚麼?
你的孤兒綜合症
我們亦不會吃這豬餿
你在做甚麼?
當然是做朱古力
你喜歡甚麼? 黑的?白的?有果仁的?完全瘋狂的?
我不知道
我從沒吃過
你從沒...你從沒吃過朱古力?
沒吃過
甚麼?
你沒吃過朱古力?
還是沒吃過
難以置信,簡直太離譜
你很幸運,露德
我有一系列世上最佳食材
盡在我的手提式工廠裡
先做哪款?要好好想
我知道了!
靈光一閃
材料有凝結的雷雲
和液態陽光
讓你在絕望黑暗中
看到微弱的希望
我們正需要
不是嗎?
你一直都想做朱古力匠?
不是
我在你這年紀時
想當魔術師的
我媽是個廚師
我們住在河上,衹有我們兩個
在我們的完美小世界裡
以我記得
我無時無刻都想創作
新魔術逗媽媽開心
厲害!
但眞正的魔法來自於她
我們沒有很多錢,但每星期
她都帶一粒可可豆回家
臨近我生日時
就夠材料做一排朱古力
那不是普通朱古力,遠遠不衹
這一定是世上最好的朱古力
我可不知道
人們說最好的朱古力 來自一個叫美食薈的地方
他們的不可能比你的好,媽媽
不可能
若眞是這樣的話
我倒是知道一個小秘密
那些有錢人都不知道
是甚麼?
我會告訴你的
當你長大些時...現在快去睡
我們該去,媽媽
去哪?
- 去美食薈 - 甚麼?
去開店?
是啊
大門上掛著我們的姓氏
那眞是個美妙的夢,寶貝
僅是那樣嗎?
衹是一個夢?
別這樣
世上所有美好的事,都始於夢想
所以你要堅持夢想
當你向全世界分享你的朱古力時
我會在你身邊
你保證?
不衹
還跟你勾手指尾
好了
睡吧
所以是甚麼,威利?
秘密是甚麼?
我沒機會知道
不久之後,她生病了
(旺卡)
突然間,我就衹剩下她那排朱古力
所以我來這裡,露德
來感受當年
跟她一起吃朱古力的感覺
甚麼意思?
我媽曾答應過 當我與全世界分享朱古力時
她會在我身邊
我知聽起來很瘋狂 但我一直希望她以某種方式實現承諾
她或甚至會告訴我那秘密
來吧,吃一粒
眞希望你沒請過我吃
你不喜歡?
不是
我喜歡,衹是...
怎麼了?
以後我不能每天吃朱古力就會難過
那你想每天任吃朱古力嗎?
一輩子都有
請我食一世?
請你食一世
我要做甚麼?
小事,幫我離開這裡
你瘋了嗎?
很簡單的,我找人代我工作
你用洗衣車偷偷帶我出去
- 但我... - 就幾小時
沒人會知我不在
出去做甚麼?
當然是去賣朱古力!
你我分錢,很快還清債
主意很好,威利
非常好
但絕不會成功
當然會,吃你的朱古力
你不明白
潔太太像隻鷹
緊緊盯著進出洗衣場的一切,除了...
啊
怎麼了?
不,沒事
好吧
啊
兩個「啊」,絕不是沒事
是靈光一閃,它給你靈感
好吧
她唯一一次鬆懈 是因為有貴族來洗衣店
他衹是來問路
但她死皮賴臉纏著他
好核突
就這樣,露德
我們衹需找個貴族,趁她分心溜出去
是,不過...
我們去哪找貴族?
啊
啊?
啊!
兩個「啊」
你有紙筆嗎?
嗯嗯
我有辦法
我來告解的
各位做得很棒,繼續
寬恕我,神父,我有罪
自我上次告解後 我吃了一百五十粒朱古力
誘惑是很難抗拒的
送我下去
待會見
晚上好,局長
他們都在等你
非常感謝
晚上好,先生們
我帶了發票來
一位朱古力匠
被趕走了,費用照舊
來了,寶貝
又有好貨色
告訴我,局長
你想多賺幾粒嗎?
說來聽聽
我們認為旺卡先生
衹被趕走還不夠
他很出色
太出色
更重要是,他一粒朱古力才賣一個銀幣
任何人都買得起,甚至那些...
你知道的,那些...
窮人?
老天
我聽到都反胃
我在場時,你別提那族群好嗎?
他不喜歡別人提起「窮人」
對不起,菲力
我們想你給旺卡傳達
一個訊息
並以武力強調
若他再在這鎮賣朱古力
他或會遇上小意外
而他會死於其中
行了,我聽得明
你不用一直講到明
我衹想確保大家有共識
憑你的腦筋有點難
甚麼意思?我知道...
不,到底甚麼意思?
各位,別吵了
你認為如何,局長?
我們做個交易?
聽著,各位 我是執法者
我不能隨便向你們的競爭對手動粗
對不起
好吧,局長
我看得出你是正直的人
過獎
但問問自己...
(以朱古力支付)
你喜歡吃甜?
我喜歡
有種渴求必須填滿?
你喜歡吃甜?
我喜歡
我們正可讓你盡歡
別跟我說良心那些廢話
這衹不過是
以物換物
就給你一百盒心頭好
抱歉,我還是做不到
我答應了太太
要少吃朱古力保持身形
出席警隊舞會,所以...
但想想你愛吃甜的喜好
我的確喜歡
我小時候就喜歡
你嗜甜難耐
沒錯
唯有它能給你快樂
別在意你的腰圍
無所謂!
來吧!
誰需要望到自己的腳趾?
那麼
給你七百盒
這麼多實在吸引...
不行!
各位,我們要更賣力
你喜歡吃甜?
我也喜歡
各位...
你對朱古力難以自禁?
是,的確是
你喜歡吃糖?
難以抵抗?
沒錯
我們有很多、很多
很多、很多
我怎會在唱歌?
若你太太抱怨
笑你肚大腰圓
去裁縫店
改衣就可以了
(古記 彈力褲專家)
我不要你們的臭朱古力
一千八百盒呢?
成交
- 貝爾 - 在
賓斯
卓高樂
- 昆茲 - 在
旺卡
阿白!
又塞廁所了!
哇,這絕對是愛的呼喚
甚麼?
你不是沒發現吧?
甚麼?
她瘋狂地愛上你
潔太太?
簡直癡迷
怎麼不會?看看你
高大健碩
你衹需略為整理儀容
買幾套新衣服
洗個澡
洗澡?
你知大家怎說吧?
大家怎說?
向她露一露腳踝
好
- 露出膝頭更養眼 - 沒錯
但若想讓她驚嘆...
告訴我
直接露大腿吧
阿白!
滿瀉了!
- 進去開工 - 知道
浸到我腳踝了!
浪費時間
阿白!
該死的懶鬼老粗
你在搞甚麼?
沒甚麼
你喜歡那小黑房嗎,露德?
知道了
我前幾天去蒙克教授那裡収衣物
是啊
他在寫巴伐利亞王室的書
悶爆
他整面牆貼滿貴族的素描
- 所以呢? - 這一位...
看來很眼熟
(白胡茲男爵)
天啊,他就像...
白先生
你是說阿白是巴伐利亞貴族?
去拿我的氈酒來
首先拿起衣服
把它丟進水桶
刷、刷
然後塞進擰乾機
切勿把自己也絞死
刷、刷
小豬,這是大好機會 快來咬我的郵差褲!
一定有陰謀展開
因為歌詞從不改
刷、刷
你這懶鬼終於...
你弄過頭髮?
可能吧
可能沒有
哪裡來的吊帶褲?
失物待領處
怎麼了?
適合我嗎?
適合
不太差
你為何去那麼遠?
為膝頭取暖
不如過來喝杯氈酒?
不如你過來...
感受這火熱?
我的天啊
各位,我來介紹
我全新研發的裝置
革命性洗衣機器
刷、刷
我問問各位
小豬整天想做甚麼?追咬郵差
而我整天要做甚麼?各位洗衣同事?
刷、刷
但現在有這 「威利旺卡神奇無限放狗洗衣機」
別要我重複,小豬有東西可追
我就可以去玩
刷、刷
我出去一下
點名前會回來
在這之前,小豬已同意...
刷、刷
跟我說說巴伐利亞的事
哪裡?
你的家鄉
噢,對!就是很...巴伐利亞風格
安全
- 眞的? - 眞的
成功了!做得好,露德
竟然行得通
待你看到我昨晚做了多少朱古力再說
一賣出去,我們就會...
弊
怎麼了,威利?
又是這樣
朱古力呢?
我不知怎麼說,露德 但...全被偷光了
被偷了?
誰偷的?
橙色小矮人
甚麼?
橙色小矮人,我沒跟你提過?
不,沒提過
他是我的死敵,就這麼高
他半夜進來
偷走我所有朱古力
隔幾星期就偷一次,持續了三、四年
眞的?
有時我會監視他
在迷幻的半夢半醒之間
他的綠髮在月下發光
綠髮?
- 總有天我會捉到他 - 威利
- 當我捉到... - 威利!
你不是眞的以為我會信吧?
當然要信
哪有其他解釋?
我不知道
或許你睡著了
夢見綠色小矮人
橙色小人、綠髮
當你發夢時
吃光所有朱古力!
吃光...
那合理得多
- 我竟相信行得通 - 一直是我自己吃光?
- 靈光一閃根本無鬼用 - 我認為不是
嘿!
我的朱古力不是無鬼用
若被潔太太發現 我就要被關進小黑房
我很抱歉,好嗎?
做更多朱古力就行
問題是奶用光了
那不是問題
奶
第一,那算偷竊
第三
威利旺卡不會用普通牛奶
這款特製朱古力
要用長頸鹿奶
好吧,沒問題
事實上,動物園就有一隻
搞定
但第一,動物園不在那邊
好極
第二
他們不會隨便讓你進去擠奶
露德,所以...
我們很慶幸橙色小矮人,找不到這粒
(保安)
這是甚麼?
動物園管理層送的
為表彰你多年的貢獻
但我衹做了一年
所以衹得一粒朱古力
非常感謝你
不客氣,晚安!
(動物園)
做得好,露德
那粒到底是甚麼?
它叫狂歡夜
這粒朱古力完美模擬鎮上的狂歡夜
外層是香檳松露
好味
之後是白酒
之後到紅酒
眞好味!
然後就開始唱歌跳舞
我們今晚開派對!
一吃到威士忌糖心,他就變得感性
她是我唯一愛過的女人!
他或會做魯莽事
我要打給她,這沒大不了吧?
昆妮?我是巴素,我想說
我一直愛著你
我很愛你...甚麼?
巴素邦,化學堂時一起坐的
不,別収線!
最後還有珍藏砵酒,之後就...
走吧
露德,走吧
牠們為何不飛走?
我不知道
或許牠們沒想到吧
你講笑吧?
不,我認眞的,紅鶴都是這樣
牠們需要有人指路
長頸鹿
(老虎)
長頸鹿
你一定要學認字
為甚麼?
你幾乎被老虎吃掉
「幾乎」正是重點
我幾乎被很多東西吃掉過
但最多衹是被咬一小口
長頸鹿
好吧,我會學認字
(艾比嬌)
晚上好,小姐
艾比嬌小姐
艾比嬌
冷靜
我帶了金合歡薄荷糖
長頸鹿都很喜歡我的金合歡薄荷糖
比任何東西都喜歡
除了撓下巴,看吧?
要試試嗎,露德?
我?
是啊,有何不可?
好吧
她應該喜歡你
艾比嬌小姐
如果我拍檔為你撓一撓
你可否給我們一點奶?
那麼...
你以前擠過嗎?
一次,在非洲,很美麗的巨獸
牠狂野嗎?
狂野?
牠狂怒
你總是說傻話,威利
我想是的,露德嘟嘟
「露德嘟嘟」?
不押韻,對吧?
沒甚麼字跟露德押韻
你怎會有這名字的?
那不重要
不,說吧
這個
親生父母唯一留給我的東西,看吧?
「N」代表露德,或露娜、蓮娜...
或毫無意思
你不去查物主是誰?
你以為我沒試過?
我小時候,一直希望能找到父母
(《露德的夢想》)
他們會住在堆滿書的美麗老宅裡
我媽媽,她會在門口等著我
我會跑向她的懷抱,她會用力擁抱我
像永遠不會放開
但後來我意識到,那衹是個愚蠢的夢
那並不愚蠢
是嗎?
我知你一直很坎坷,露德 但日子會變好的
我不會讓你永遠待在那洗衣場
你保證?
不衹
還跟你勾手指尾,這是最莊嚴的誓言
開始撓吧
那守衛很快就醒,露德嚕嚕
「露德嚕嚕」!
根本沒這個詞!
我繼續想吧
有一瞬間
生活似乎沒那麼坎坷
有一瞬間
我好像忘了難過
他把黑夜變成白晝
但別高興得太早
永遠別放下戒心
一刻也別讓他們走進你的心
一刻也不能
我想到了,露德!你聽著
露德,露德,像蘋果卷可人
有人不喜歡
有人喜歡得很
大蛇、紅鸛、大熊和名種貴婦狗
唱這首歌會令你盡歡
露德啲啲 露德啲嗒
威利!
我們玩得正開心
謝謝,艾比嬌!
- 有一瞬間 - 露德,露德
- 我的生活天翻地覆 - 像蘋果卷可人
有人不喜歡,有人喜歡得很
- 有一瞬間 - 大蛇、紅鸛
- 我快活得像在空中起舞 - 大熊和名種貴婦狗
唱這首歌會令你盡歡
- 他是我生活中 - 露德啲啲 露德啲嗒
- 唯一美好的事 - 我們玩得正開心
局長
記得那個你要找他談的人嗎?
有一瞬間
生活似乎沒那麼坎坷
有一瞬間
我好像忘了難過
旺卡先生!
請和我私下談談
無問題,警官
- 你走吧,藹警員 - 你確定?
是的,這是我和旺卡先生的事
- 你快走,露德 - 但威利...
別擔心我,更麻煩的事我都擺脫過
在手推車會合
警官
若是關於艾比嬌...
我有口訊給你,老友
不要在這個鎮賣朱古力!
聽到未?
恐怕聽不清楚
你還會頂嘴啊,糖果仔,我說...
不准賣朱古力!
這次聽到了?
有水塞住我耳仔
對,你...
好吧,怪不得
聽著,我很抱歉
我太慌亂
事實是,我不想這樣做的
我也不想你這樣做
但我仍要給你口訊
你再在這個鎮賣朱古力
就不衹是被打頭那麼簡單
我沒被打頭啊
我今天怎麼了?我...
- 你給我一秒? - 好
白胡茲大人
潔太太
你雙眼就像奶凍裡的兩粒兔仔屎
你眞口甜舌滑
(袋洗)
樓下見
衝啊!
旺卡先生
很高興你回來
- 我沒遲到吧? - 沒有
差點來不及,不過...
小豬有努力工作嗎?
事實上,小豬一整天都很乖
生產力提高了百分之卅
我們下午還可休息
但那不是重點
這正是重點
- 別現在搞笑,拉里 - 對不起
重點是...
你去了哪?
你為何全身長頸鹿味?
看來我欠你們一個解釋
實情是...
我是朱古力匠
不是普通的朱古力
是世上最好的
露德太過獎了,但她說得對
簡直無得彈
我們打算賣朱古力,還清欠潔太太的債
至少原本有這計劃,直至...
我猜猜,你與警察局長有點小衝突?
你怎知道的?
因為我曾是屎撈涕的會計師
至少當了一個星期 他原本的簿記員病了
麻煩去車站
我跨越了大半個國家來替工
晚上好,屎撈涕先生 這裡需要你簽名...
工作看似很簡單
直至我發現
有兩本賬簿
一本呈上政府部門
另一本說出了眞相
屎撈涕、肥膏吉巴和大鼻 多年來都在做壞事
就像個朱古力聯盟
他們用水溝淡朱古力
把省下的朱古力儲存到 大教堂地底深處的秘密保險庫
全天候由腐敗的教士
和五百名朱古力修士看守
進去的唯一途徑,就是乘坐秘密電梯
越過揸匙小姐
她是多年來不見陽光的地下哨兵
晚上好
地底有幾千加侖的朱古力
他們用來賄賂...
(以朱古力支付)
勒索、並打擊競爭對手
我不管擋路的是否學童,下次...
踩油撞過去
邦邦小姐?
早晨,屎撈涕先生
由現在起,我會把賬簿存放在保險庫裡
好的,先生
噢,昆茲先生?
是?
我炒你
好的,先生
對不起,旺卡先生
但你逃不出他們的打壓
你不賣朱古力,就沒錢開店
你不開店,就無法賣朱古力
嘿,露德!露德!
怎麼了,威利?
小心
給我做甚麼?
你的工資,請你食一世,記得嗎?
你不用這樣做
當然要
我答應過你的
好吧,謝謝
我也有東西給你
給我?
這是甚麼?
半滿的杯?
倒轉它
半空的杯
是「A」字
你的第一個字母
我在教你認字
噢,露德
我不能讓我的生意拍檔被老虎吃掉
或幾乎被吃掉
所以我們仍是拍檔?
當然,但我想不出能怎麼賣
每次警察出現,你就要憑空消失
像魔術師一樣
就是!
但這跟舞臺表演不一樣
舞臺有繩、滑輪和暗門,街上都沒有
事實上,有
整個城市都有暗門
它們叫排水渠口
若你分錢給我,我樂意帶你看看
若你要請人
我甚麼都肯做 衹為逃出這裡與太太復合
我沒任何實際技能 但我可扮在水底說話
若你需要人負責通訊,我是最佳人選
樂迪?
為何全都盯著我?
我不知道她會說話
- 我以為你演默劇的 - 不
我以前其實在接線中心工作
那時候我很愛聊天的
但我來這裡後
我沒甚麼事可聊
請恕我掃興潑冷水
但若潔太太發現你們想逃跑
全會被困小黑房六個月,所以要三思
才好參與這愚蠢的計劃
這計劃不愚蠢,阿伯克斯 威利的朱古力眞的很好吃
試一粒
你眞客氣,露德
但我不在乎他的朱古力多好吃
我們幾時開始?
我想問的是,芭芭拉
你願意嫁給我嗎?
我不知道,哥連
你是個好男人,但我想找
浪漫大情聖
帶我四處遊歷
那人會是你嗎?
不會
我一直欠缺自信,所以做不到
我還是走了
- 但哥連... - 抱歉浪費你的時間,芭芭拉
的士!
先生,要點甚麼?
侍應啊
有甚麼適合心碎的人?
的士從不停下,女士們認為你無膽
你又濕又凍、年紀漸老 自信心又被擊倒
的確是
當人們看著你,對你置諸不理
或當你是他們腳下的地底泥
你一直跟蹤我嗎?
但這可解你苦惱 我的長頸鹿奶馬卡龍
即管試試,你就會改頭換面
不再自覺卑微,不再畏首畏尾
衹要多吃幾顆 就會自覺是三米硬漢
朱古力很普遍
朱古力很常見
衹有旺卡朱古力令你自信倍添
他不是這裡的侍應
快拿出錢包 買幾粒旺卡朱古力試試
小姐,吻一下
樂意之至!
- 這種朱古力你前所未見 - 眞的
這種朱古力我們前所未見
- 新口味嚐過沒? - 還沒
噢,你一定要試試
衹需吃一粒,一切像百老匯歌舞
令你震驚的新聞
令你捧腹的笑話
整天所說所做如像編舞
頭髮失蹤,百思不通
頭頂感覺光禿禿
不必鬱悶,我有絕活
生髮閃電泡芙
材料有雲呢拿碎,購自馬尼拉農墟
但吃三粒就要停 否則毛髮多如大猩猩
朱古力很普遍
朱古力很常見
衹有旺卡朱古力令你唱跳不止
快拿出錢包買幾粒
全部安靜!所有人要蒐清
你可曾見過這種朱古力?
這種朱古力我前所未見
快拿出錢包
買幾粒旺卡朱古力試試 快拿出錢包
買幾粒朱古力試試
有些人識字,有些一字不知
(貓)
你能否說出這個字?
一無所知
那是元音,那是輔音
講多次?你似語無論次
我或該放棄不再理
但你不曾這樣賣出朱古力
朱古力很普遍
我明白
朱古力很常見
絕對是
但旺卡令我們利潤跌破底線
是,但我想說...
若再不制止
我們就會
蝕大錢!
我們將消失不見
但各位...
這種朱古力你們前所未見
眞的,這種朱古力我們前所未見
- 朱古力很普遍 - 朱古力很普遍
- 朱古力很常見 - 朱古力很常見
衹有我的能讓你當上新娘子
我們剛剛結婚
旺卡朱古力是大功臣
我們從此幸福爆燈
這種朱古力你前所未見
眞的,這種朱古力我們前所未見
你可曾見過這種朱古力?
沒有,這種朱古力
沒有,這種朱古力我們前所未見
好了,他在哪?去了哪?
原來你是這樣逃跑
藹警員
派人看守全城所有排水渠口
你確定嗎,局長?
我們不是該專註查未破的兇案?
不,這是首要事
好了,我要你扶我起來
我這兩星期重了六十八公斤
捉到你!
什麽東西?
放我出去
我命令你釋放我
厲害,它還會說話
我當然會說話 再不放我,我就尖叫
- 哇 - 放我出去!
先讓我仔細看看你
哇
晚上好
你就是一直跟著我的趣怪小人
「趣怪小人」?你眞斗膽
講你知,我這身形算得上高大
對隆巴小矮人來說
隆甚麼?
事實上,在隆巴小人國
我算得上是巨人
他們叫我高佬
所以麻煩你別再盯著我
好像我是你手帕上的小汙點一樣
我覺得很不舒服,老實說還很無禮
- 對不起 - 現在放我出去
你絕對無權用樽困住無辜的陌生人
無辜?
等等,你多年來一直偷我的東西
你先挑起的
我?
你偷了我們的可可豆
你說甚麼?
你意思是你完全不記得?
記得甚麼?
那天你...
毀了我一生
不,我不記得
好吧,少年仔,我幫你重溫記憶
我要用一首洗腦神曲
讓你再也忘不了
我覺得我不想聽
太遲了,我已開始跳舞 我們一開始跳就停不了,看吧
小矮人唱精靈歌
我有個悲慘故事對你講
小矮人唱精靈歌
你聰明的話就要聽我講
隆巴小人國美麗又翠綠
但可可豆稀少又難種
我負責守衛僅有的一點點
你一上岸
就把全部偷光
那你為何不阻止?
我可能睡著了
小矮人今次大禍臨頭
當我醒來便被他們趕走
我顏面掃地,在寒風中被驅離
賠夠一千倍才可重返故地
一千倍?你講笑吧!
我再講一次...
一千倍
哇
隆巴先生
若你認同這懲罰合理
就因為偷了三粒豆
四粒
四粒豆
我們可商量其他辦法
但我不能把所有成品都給你
還有其他人指望我的
那好吧
我告訴你
你放我出去,我們像紳士一樣好好商量
好吧
謝謝,麻煩幫幫忙 把那微型煎鍋遞給我?
這個?
不,更重那個
好吧
謝謝,的確很重,對吧?
現在靠近些
好了,再近些
- 來吧,再近些 - 好吧
- 好了 - 甚麼?
隆巴小矮人不談判的,再見,先生
那是我最後一樽!
我說了再見
他又來了?
對,露德,但這次我設了陷阱 他直接中計了
那他在哪?
我們吵了一架,他贏了
用煎鍋打我的頭,然後跳出窗外
當然了
你不信我,對吧?
老實說?不信
不信!
不信
絕對不信
不過...
恰巧我們今天不用賣朱古力
為甚麼?
那間店?
你日思夜想那間?
我知道你在想甚麼,或許要修葺一下
看來廿年前,有人忘了關水喉就走
天花板都掉了
上一層,和再上一層的天花板也是
但這代表我們租得起
租得起一星期
我們終於可正當地賣
警察沒任何藉口阻止我們
你覺得怎樣,威利?
你喜歡嗎?
我喜不喜歡?
露德,這正如我夢想一樣
不,刪掉...比我夢想中更好
看看這地方
的確很殘破,但潛力無限!
結構很好!記低我的話
這將是世上最好的朱古力店
你很快就不用再洗衣了,露德
我們都會自由
像紅鶴一樣自由!
總共六人,包括那小女孩
她似乎是整個行動的軍師
他們的基地叫潔白洗衣店
潔?
沒錯
怎麼了?你知道?
對,我的確知道
他們剛租了店面 法律上我不能對付他們,但非法的話
我樂意聽你們任何吩咐
想他們全都出點意外?
他們會死於其中?
無問題,但你們要付更多朱古力
無問題,局長
而且,我想先収訂金
因為你們上次給的那批...
吃光了
全部?
我過去三日都在吃這些紙皮盒
還以為會一樣解癮
原來不能
給你,局長,我們還有很多
你先暫時収手
時機一到,我們會打給你
怎麼了,亞瑟?
那女孩
你不會眞的認為是她吧?
我認為是
你一直向我們保證,她不會成問題
沒錯,你保證過
她不會成問題
旺卡也不會
我會處理,親自出馬
誰?你想怎樣?
屎撈涕先生
等等,先生
晚上好
誰啊?寶...
不是吧
是屎撈涕先生
你為何大駕光臨?
你有位客人叫旺卡先生?
他一直偷溜出去賣朱古力 你那小女僕在幫他
那死妹釘
就是
我想請你幫我,了結他們的...
生意
開始吧,媽媽
各位先生女士,大家好
歡迎光臨旺卡朱古力
天大的事即將發生 無論是字面上,或比喻上也是
甚麼?
在裡面?
姑且聽我說
閉上雙眼數十下
現在許個願
張開眼
(旺卡)
這間店獨一無二
若平平無奇,我絕不糾纏
朱古力叢、朱古力樹
朱古力蜂圍著朱古力花轉
段段朱古力回憶
在男孩心中記
趁一切未忘記
屬於你的世界
讓你忘憂的樂園
屬於你的世界
你可無拘無束
不論你到哪方
不論你際遇如何
這裡就是你家
屬於你的世界
尋回童心
被你遺忘的童眞
尋回孩子般的好奇心
重溫以前感受過的奇妙
回到相信魔法是眞實那時
屬於你的世界
讓你忘憂的樂園
即使孤獨
即使你不安時
擁抱未知
好好冒險一次
讓我們在雲端漫步
可以的話抓一把
雲朵都是棉花糖
請先把雨傘備妥
(旺卡)
因為將有暴雨降
硬糖、橡皮糖
還有茴香糖
煙花帶來
糖條嚼一嚼
彩虹七色尚不夠看
數不清的色彩更多
- 屬於我們的世界 - 屬於我們的世界
- 我們忘憂的樂園 - 我們忘憂的樂園
- 屬於我們的世界 - 屬於我們的世界
我們可無拘無束
我們可在這無拘無束
不論你到哪方
不論你際遇如何
這裡是我們的家
屬於我們的世界
蘑菇、梨,和雜錦花
一共八十九個銀幣
就算再貴兩倍也超値
多謝,先生,要怎樣找錢?
可花用的,還是可食用的?
可食用的
慢用
別忘了吃你的籃子
不,你先去排隊
阿伯克斯,那人剛付了一百個銀幣
我知啊,露德
下一位是誰?
- 到我 - 我!
旺卡先生?
是?
怎麼回事?
天啊
不可能的
除非...
雪怪汗?
世上最強的生髮藥水
我沒加進去啊
各位註意!請註意!
似乎出現了製作錯誤
不要吃朱古力花!
為甚麼?
有甚麼問題?
這朱古力有何問題?
我女兒衹吃了一口,看看她!
朱古力奶沒問題...對吧?
非常抱歉,各位,我不知怎解釋
但似乎朱古力被下了毒!
下毒?
他毒害我的孩子
我沒毒害他們
我要退錢
我要賠償
我要報仇
不要!求求你們!
這是你令我女兒生鬚的報復!
- 救我!我要離開這裡 - 我會等你
我相信那就是...
旺卡朱古力店的終結
我不明白,怎會...
怎麼...
怎麼回事?
還不夠明顯?
朱古力聯盟
不要緊,威利,我們可以重建
可重新開始
沒意義的,露德
沒有用
甚麼意思?
她答應過會在
但沒出現
你不是眞的認為...
是,我眞的信
愚蠢的夢想
別那麼說,威利,絕不要...
來吧,露德
我認為旺卡先生需要自己靜一靜
世上所有美好的事,都始於夢想
所以你要堅持夢想
當你向全世界分享你的朱古力時
我會在你身邊
這裡發生的事眞可惜
是你們動手的吧?
我們?不,沒親自動手
我們或有慫恿潔太太 幫你的創作加料
我們付錢給她下毒
對,謝謝,謝勒
不客氣
那你們來做甚麼?
幸災樂禍?
不,旺卡先生,我不會為此浪費時間
我們來跟你做交易
這一疊正好夠你還清欠潔太太的債
這一疊給那會計
水管工
接線生
那所謂的笑匠
而這一疊...
是給那女孩的
我們還額外加了點錢
那她就可租屋住、買衣、買玩具...
還有書
沒錯,旺卡先生
你可改變她的一生 改變他們所有人的一生
那我要做甚麼?
離開這個鎮
噢,還有...
以後不再做朱古力
今晚午夜有艘船開出
為了他們,還有你自己 我希望你上船
對不起,露德
看來我高興得太早
對不起,露德
希望有一天能得你原諒
要退房?
是啊
我衹希望可以
再感受一次
小時候的日子
對不起,露德
旺卡先生
你的單程票
去北極的
是特選經濟艙
對,其實就是經濟艙
就位置闊一點,多一包花生
値得多付錢嗎?
我不知道,但這些人...
我們不用深究
再見
旺卡先生
謝謝
(特選經濟客位)
小矮人唱精靈歌
我不是坐特選經濟艙
若我是你就會坐頭等
這就是隆巴小矮人
會做的事
你在這眞好
我不會讓你離我太遠,威利旺卡
除非你還清債 但關於這方面,我有好消息
是甚麼?
我一直有記賬
衹要再多一樽,我們就扯平了
若你肯的話,給我半樽飄浮朱古力也行
你不夠運了
我不再做朱古力了
天啊,你眞要遵守那荒謬條件?
我必須要
為了露德
我答應過讓她過更好生活
勾過手指尾的
你該對抗那些惡霸,給他們幾拳
隆巴小矮人就會那樣做
但若你決心坐在這自怨自艾
那我就先睡了
晚安,先生
啊
怎麼了?
不,沒甚麼
顯然有事,因為你說「啊」
對不起,算了吧
好吧
啊
你又「啊」了
講我知,否則我用雞尾酒籤刺你
看,屎撈涕跟我握手的地方
他留下了戒指印,看
是「A」,周圍有多個「S」
那又怎樣?他叫亞瑟屎撈涕 可能是家族戒指
是,但露德也有一樣的
露德?
孤兒露德怎會有屎撈涕的家族戒指?
我衹想到一個原因
即是?
若我沒猜錯,露德現在很危險
來吧,旺卡,快說 吐出你的愚見
沒時間了,我要回去
- 船長! - 旺卡?
回來!旺卡!我命令你解釋
船長?
經我三思,你可待會再解釋
再見了
各位,一位喪命的朱古力匠 滿足你們的要求
邦邦小姐?
是,屎撈涕先生?
付局長朱古力
天啊
今天大家都一臉難過啊
我差點以為你們在密謀
試圖擺脫這合約
可惜卻失敗
雖然你們不配,但我有好消息告訴你們
你們的朋友旺卡先生 與屎撈涕先生做了一筆交易
甚麼?
他放棄了他的夢想
幫你們抵消所有債
- 昆茲先生 - 在
(已収到 已付)
你可以走了
滾!書蟲
- 貝爾 - 你好
躝!
賓斯
你不用叫我兩次
卓高樂
你一直是個差勁的觀眾,早抖!
是啊,你也不是出色笑匠,老友
- 我知 - 嘿,拉里
堅持下去,你有天份的
你嚇到我
最後,露德
最大疊的錢
但這不是用來幫你還債
而是要把你留在這裡
甚麼意思?
我的朋友屎撈涕先生
認為你這種討厭的頑童不該上街流連
拉低了格調
所以他給了我這筆錢
讓你永遠留在洗衣場
而我樂意之至
- 我憎死你! - 嘿!
嘿!嘿!
她竟想反抗,白胡茲大人
白胡茲大人?
你不會仍認為他是貴族吧?
甚麼?
我們亂編的,蠢婆!
她講騙話!
夠了!
你個死妹釘
你要進小黑房,豆釘
還有你!把你的工人褲脫掉 你個粗人!
但寶貝豬
我愛你啊
你好,露德
威利,我以為你走了
我是走了
屎撈涕保證會讓你過好生活
但他沒遵守諾言
所以我回來了,我們都回來了
- 嘿,露德 - 你好嗎?
- 嘿 - 驚喜吧?
他想把我永遠關起來
是啊,我猜到了
為甚麼?他為何針對我?
我不知道,仍不肯定
我衹知道你不會安全,除非屎撈涕
去了坐牢
怎樣才能令他坐牢?
阿伯克斯,你說他們有記錄所有勾當
記在綠色賬簿中
衹要得到賬簿 就可證明他們在朱古力下毒
潔太太和白先生會坐牢
我們大家都會自由
是的
但我要提提你,那賬簿放在保險庫裡
由腐敗的教士看守
還有五百名朱古力修士
的確是
但我今早游了很久凍水
凍水眞的對腦筋好
能刺激神經通路 游了六公里後,我想到辦法了
我們有聰明的孤兒
會計師、水管工
接線生
和可扮在水底說話的男人
該怎樣結合各人技能 實行這驚天劫案?
但即使我們偷到那賬簿
他們衹需賄賂一番就能脫身 他們總是這樣
貪婪的人打敗窮人,威利
這世界就是這樣
你說得對,露德
所以還有一件事要做
是甚麼?
改變這世界
我們從哪裡開始?
不好意思,先生
你能施捨一粒朱古力給餓壞的孤兒嗎?
對不起,孩子,我身上沒朱古力
那吃些金合歡薄荷糖吧
好！
「給巴素邦,本週最佳員工」
噢,眞好啊...
(大閘)
後面沒問題吧?
一切都很好,對吧,艾比嬌?
叫牠伏下
叫牠甚麼?
伏下!
早晨,弟兄們
早晨,神父
大家都知道
今天是馮施邁哈默男爵的喪禮
他的遺孀是...
有點虔誠那種人
所以我不想在喪禮期間 看到任何人吃朱古力
是,神父
我們都知道總有一天 我們的罪孽會面臨審判
但不會是今天
阿們
冷靜
長頸鹿乖啊
跑!大家出去!
長頸鹿
- 快跑! - 有猛獸!
- 先自救! - 出去!
有長頸鹿
審判已經來臨!
快跑!快點!
而且形式令人意外
有長頸鹿
快跑!
我知那是隻長頸鹿
我做了甚麼要這樣對我?
你心知肚明,朱利斯
你為了卅粒朱古力出賣了靈魂
你好,這是接線中心,要接去哪?
接去動物園,有緊急情況
現在接去逃逸動物部
你好,這是動物園
安靜點,你們這些動物
你也是,八爪魚
有長頸鹿
甚麼?對,我們的確有長頸鹿逃脫
你可以來捉牠嗎?
好吧,我會派人去
寬恕我!
我有罪!
一個軟弱而邪惡的朱古力狂!
早晨,各位
歡迎來到聖本篤教堂
男爵夫人,請你節哀
我們現在有點技術上的問題
你或要放低已故男爵等一等
救兵來了
你就是叫人來捉長頸鹿的教士?
安全了
「感謝你的多年貢獻」
「朱利斯神父和朱古力聯盟」
太棒了
好了,神父,一隻長頸鹿
- 厲害 - 謝謝各位
請退後,退後
我喜歡吃甜?我喜歡
哇
我喜歡吃甜...
她跳得眞好
我本可以很幸福,但我失去了他
我要打給他,不,不行
我一定要打給他
喂?
巴素?我是昆妮
你沒錯
這麼巧?
當年上化學課,是我一生最開心的日子
犀利
對不起,先生 運海鮮車倒翻了貨
最近很多煩人的紅鶴
總之快點,好嗎?
市廣場今早被封閉 本市的大教堂發生離奇事件
延誤了著名慈善家
馮施邁哈默男爵的喪禮
阿們
對不起,我最好接聽
- 你好,這是祭壇 - 神父
一切沒問題吧?
沒事,屎撈涕先生
一切妥當
至少現在是
甚麼意思?
剛才有長頸鹿闖進教堂
不得不清場廿分鐘
但一切已回復正常
喂?
別管紅鶴了,多諾凡!衝過去!
是,先生!
北七！
- 找到嗎? - 沒有
繼續找
不在這裡,威利
但阿伯克斯說在這裡
阿伯克斯在洗衣場
待了四年,或許他得洗衣多洗壞腦
因為這裡衹有一堆爛鬼朱古力
(賬簿)
威利,看!
我們找到了,露德
找到把柄了
你眞頑皮,旺卡先生
你給我們帶來很多麻煩
你和你的街童朋友
但她不衹是個街童吧,屎撈涕先生?
你們是家人
甚麼?
你在說甚麼,威利?
那戒指,露德?
你父母留給你那隻?
屎撈涕先生也有一樣的
是嗎,屎撈涕先生?
我的確有
那屬於我哥哥,斯巴迪
他是我爸爸?
他是個無可救藥的情癡
愛上了低下的小書蟲
還未結婚就死了,令我成為...
家產的唯一繼承人
我當初是這樣認為
但九個月後
你母親來到我家門前
求我找醫生醫治她生病的新生兒
我說我會幫忙
但你沒有
是嗎?
沒有
相反,你把我丟進洗衣槽
拜拜,小寶寶
潔太太找到我
她看到那戒指
以為是「N」字,所以叫我露德
但其實不是
是「Z」,代表斯巴迪
是的
你母親回來時,我說你死了
不!
她當然很傷心,但我給了她一把銀幣
把她趕出大宅
她叫甚麼名字?
嗯?
我媽,她叫甚麼名字?
我想想
不,我應該忘了
對不起,但你要明白...
她非常窮
對不起,菲力
她叫桃樂菲
桃樂菲史密斯,這裡寫的
桃樂菲?
驚喜吧?
你眞的教識我認字了
好了,這一切很感人
但說回正題
交給我們,謝謝
你工場裡有多少朱古力 肥膏吉巴先生?
大約卅六萬公昇
大鼻?
卅四萬公昇
我有六十八萬公昇
那應該足夠了
足夠做甚麼?
被朱古力淹死
繼續走
各位
考慮到目前情況
你們可否替我做件好事?
做件甚麼?
「好事」,即是一種無謂的無私行為
當然可以,旺卡先生
你想我們做甚麼?
請把這東西交給一個人
若你們碰見他的話
那是誰?
一個橙色小矮人
甚麼?
一個橙色小矮人
約廿公分高,橙色皮膚和鮮綠色頭髮
我欠他一樽朱古力,所以...
這該是我做過最好的一批
那我保證會親自交給他
永別了,旺卡先生
小街童
威利
(屎撈涕)
(肥膏吉巴)
我們怎麼辦,威利?
我不知道,露德,我會想辦法
他做過最好的一批?
我想到了!
怎麼了?你想到辦法?
是,若我們要被朱古力淹死,露德
說眞的,是一定會
那也要被旺卡朱古力淹死
我們不會淹死的,威利 看,那裡有光
就讓朱古力
把我們浮上去,然後敲打玻璃
祈求有人聽到我們
這主意好得多
各位
今早差點出事
我在想我們或該重新思考安排,或者...
或者...一切照舊
神父
旺卡雖然是個瘋子 但他顯然很會做朱古力
我們該保留一些給橙色小矮人嗎?
你講笑吧
是的,對不起,為何當我講笑?
因為世上沒有橙色小矮人,傻瓜
- 救命! - 救命!
快來救我們,求求你!
救命!
請來救我們!
看,有人來了
威利,我們有救了!
對不起,露德
不用道歉
你幫我找到了家人
一個愛我的媽媽
那是我一直想要的
現在深吸一口氣
好味
你別那麼激動
衹是一點朱古力罷了
更正
那其實是我的朱古力
你們犯了一個非常致命的錯誤,各位
你們偷隆巴小矮人的東西,就要賠...
一千倍
(緊急排水)
怎麼回事,威利?
正在排水,露德
我們得救了!
誰救的?
我不知道
橙色小矮人救的!
看
橙色小矮人!
謝謝,橙色小矮人!謝謝!
各位,你們沒事就好,我已儘快趕來
我的車縮水
一定是
你不用擔心,局長,一切已受控制
有幾個小偷闖入 但恐怕他們已遇上小意外
而且死於其中
的確幾搞笑,謝勒
我不會那麼肯定
警官,請你看看這個?
旺卡!
它詳細記錄了
他們每筆非法開支
有幾千筆
藹警員,別聽她說,她講大話
一定是
她不是,先生
她沒說錯
太驚人了
好吧,看來要我這警察局長親自調查
給我吧,藹警員,交給我就行
省得你寫報告
恐怕不能給你,長官
為甚麼?
因為有寫你的名字
甚麼?
寫了很多次
- 各位... - 要拘捕你們
- 快跑 - 要上手扣?
不要緊,露德
等一秒
發生甚麼事?
我們怎會飄浮?
你們沒吃那些朱古力吧,屎撈涕先生?
怎麼了?
因為那些是飄浮朱古力
生效慢,但效力更強
你自以為很聰明嗎,旺卡先生?
我們腳下有値十億銀幣的朱古力
我們會請最好的律師
収買法官,必要時還可賄賂陪審團
我們定可脫身
我眞希望早想到這點
嘿,露德!
那是甚麼?
是我們的朱古力!
我們所有的朱古力!
我們完了!
別擔心,先生們
你們最終都會下來的
應該會吧
但在那之前
各位先生女士
威利旺卡和他的朋友們邀請各位
享用我們的朱古力
厲害!神奇的旺卡!
昆妮?
巴素!
我怎麼說的,阿伯克斯 我說過我們會解決到
你的杯
謝謝
- 你的 - 你的,小心,不要太多
好了
(秘密就是,重要的不是朱古力)
(而是和你分享朱古力的人) (愛你的媽媽)
謝謝
那麼...感覺如何,威利?
如記憶中美味?
一樣的美味
可以永遠如此就好了
我想是時候了
是時候做甚麼?
你知城裡有多少人叫 桃樂菲史密斯?
一百零六個
幸好,你有朋友在接線中心工作
她花了整個下午
不斷打電話
你猜怎麼樣?
我們找到她了
你們找到我媽媽?
她在圖書館工作
亦在那裡住
來吧,露德
跟著我
你就能
(《露德的夢想》)
進入一個
滿載純眞幻想的世界
伸手碰一碰
曾經衹是
活在你想像中的事
別害羞
不要緊
感到慌張很平常
有時候這些事
無須要解釋
若你想遊覽天堂
衹需睜眼四周看看
有人可相依
就是我們眞正需要的事
其他無可比擬
媽
一件好事
照亮了這灰暗世界
我還在想會否再見面
我哪裡都不會去,威利旺卡 除非你還清債
我知道你努力過 但隆巴國的法例寫得很清楚
直到有天
朱古力眞的在我手上...
謝謝
多謝你救了我的命
那看來我倆扯平了 我現在回最愛的隆巴小人國
雖然那裡的可可豆產量稀少
而且朋友們都看不起我
甚麼?
他們不是叫你高佬嗎?
事實是,我比平均身高矮六毫米
他們叫我矮仔
但算了吧,再見,先生
你要走眞是太可惜了
我說了再見
若我要跟全世界分享朱古力 我需要的不衹是一間店
沒錯
我會需要一間工廠
是啊,祝你好運
還需要有人管理試味部
試味部?
跟著我
好
你就能
去哪?
進入一個滿載純眞幻想的世界
(出售 歡迎追夢者!)
這是殘破城堡
看一看
就能看見
你的想像已實現
坦白說,我很懷疑
讓我們以旋轉開始
漫遊於我的創意
面前所見
無法以常理定義
的確不合常理
若你想遊覽天堂
衹需睜眼四周看看
你想做甚麼都可以
想改變世界?衹是小意思
還不錯
沒任何東西
比得上純粹的幻想
活在其中,你將無拘無束
衹要你
眞誠希望如此
《旺卡》
小矮人唱精靈歌
我有一點後續呈上
繼續待在原位坐坐
欣賞小矮人最後的心意
阿伯克斯安全回到老家
賓斯與好友重逢
樂迪回到接線局
勇敢的拉里復出成功
有一天他的前妻
看了他的表演
捧腹大笑後與他復合
小矮人唱精靈歌
潔太太和白先生 下場會如何?
稍等我一、兩分鐘
隆巴小矮人立即為你揭盅
這東西有甚麼問題?這機器眞麻煩
立即揭盅
好極,好多了
買鞋、整容、隆鼻、伊比薩島
鄉郊大宅、內衣
朱古力聯盟出事了,他們被抓了
我們甚麼都沒做啊
除了在他們的朱古力下毒
警察,開門
快!喝掉證據
等等,警官先生
- 警察 - 我在上廁所,警官先生
開門
再擦一下就行
- 開門 - 未痾完,再等等
好吧
哇
有何貴幹,警官?
你兩個跟我走
但我們甚麼都沒做
你倆要坐很耐監
最後一個吻,大人?
寶貝豬